Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

[Determined]

Hi @Shaz51

Just going over posts from the last week now, sounds like it has been full on for you and hubby. Have been thinking about you both. I saw you missed out on tc Debbie, that must have been a relief (feel soŕry for all those who copped it though), how are you going with the wet? 

Dieting, yuk that wont be fun. I went to a dietician years ago under duress of the gp, went in with a bad attitude to start cus I didnt want to be there so unfortunately nothing came of it. Silly me 🤔

[Anony18]

Thanks @soul @Determined

Needed those words. Not sure what time I will call him. Still hoping that he will resurface or come over surprisingly like he done back in day but someone I feel that is wishful thinking. 

Knowing what the boundaries are is difficult cause i know on one hand he may just not be up for anything or talking to anyone if he is down and is finding hard to let me know but at same time I don't know that so I can't meet his wishes and of course I worry. I somewhat know what to say but I just do hope if I do speak to him he understands where I am coming from. 

Had quite a bit to drink last night...had a work function....so it isn't helping with the emotions today 😐

[Dichotomy]

@Determinedand @Anony18

       In the words of another member who sees what was done to me the same way it felt:

   "no worries, hope you're OK, what was done to you was atrocious"

So I am here, but not really feeling it.  In two minds and crawling back incognito because of what happened in another thread. So yes, you know me.

[Anony18]

Hi @Dichotomy - thought might have been you. Take your time my friend. Crawl back at your own pace that you are comfortable with. I am not heading anywhere anytime soon. Do hope you are ok or getting there xx

[Dichotomy]

@Anony18  2 weeks is really a long time.   I know you are dealing with MI issues with him (I don't know what they are though) but you also have to look after yourself and set your own boundaries too.  Relationship is not a one way street no matter what the circumstances of it is. Don't let you get lost trying to look after him. That's not healthy either.

Please remember that it is not up to you to have to make all the accommodations, or you will lose you.  *hugs*  I know it's hard, especially with you not wanting to make things worse. 😞  Good luck with it. Hope it all fixes for you. 🔆

TAFKAT  (hmm I should have gone with that, Prince style!)

[Anony18]

Hi @Dichotomy yeah am aware. This is the longest time not hearing from me after my attempts which worries me. Guess really doesn't help his phone has been off for week so even more worrying. He usually does respond fairly promptly when I text him. Let hope if I end up calling his home he is around so can just have a chat and most importantly find out what been happening. 

What is TAFKAT? Am wrecking my brain thinking haha

[soul]

Hi @Dichotomy. Glad to meet you here. Love your sense of humour.

[Dichotomy]

yes absolutely @Anony18 Let's hope he is there or that's just going to be horrible on horrible 😞  so fingers crossed 🙂

Remember back in the 90s?  OK maybe you are not as ancient as I am LOL... well back in the 90s Prince changed his name to a symbol that nobody knew how to say, so he became known as TAFKAP :

   The Artist Formerly Known As Prince.

Hence me TAFKAT

@soulHey glad your appointment went well the other day.  How you feeling now?  Any baby steps forward or still sorting?

[soul]

@Dichotomy - thanks for asking. I just finished reading "Why Does He Do That?" By Lundy Bancroft. Came upon it by accident as I was browsing the Internet looking for answers. Wow - that was an eye opener! She wrote the book after having fifteen years of experience working with over 2000 abusive men (yes - men because they are by far the largest demographic represented)

Every myth she depicted was every excuse my ex made. Every action that I questioned as being unreasonable was abuse. She talked about the style of abusers. How I have a right to be angry about what happened. It was as if she knew all about him. How he made himself out to be a victim and wasn't responsible for his behaviour. 

She made this clever analogy about a tree to discuss the steps an abuser needs to take to overcome his ways and how difficult it is for them to do so 😔

[Anony18]

Hi @Dichotomy - let's hope I do. It be horrible if he isn't but persistent i will be.

Ohhh haha. Well am old enough 😋