Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

[Shaz51]

Hi, I know exactly what you are going through, It is so easy to do because we love our partners so much

Hi Janna         you comment is so true, thankyou for your message to keep reminding myself ..

I have found that I may suggest something to my Husband who has Depression and then I will let him think about it for a while before saying anything ,

other times i might ask him if he would like to do this or try this which includes him , small changes makes the difference

[PeppiPatty]

Oh golly gosh this is up NY alley: I'm a fulltime carer dir my absolutely gorgeous husband who is diagnosed chronic ( meaning all the time ) paranoid schizophrenia At 19

Every day I do something wrong; every day. This morning I was talking to my mum and said to her that he was not well because of Christmas time and he's been anxious. I get told off ; this is no ones business .....

So can I share with you you what I'm learning and maybe later : you can share something with me too

1;Congratulations for being there: its so rare for someone like you to reach out for a dialogue not
Keep it to yourself and keep it in a monologue

2: the mist important person in this journey is you: for instance everything I so during the say

[Shaz51]

Hi,

Also about the comment you wrote ,(My partner got a bit frustrated with me last night and said I'm wrapping him up in cotton wool and "babying" him too much. How do I get a balance of being helpful, but not overbearing?) ---

Don`t take to heart what your partner say all the time -- people with depression come out with things they don`t really mean

[Shaz51]

Hi PeppiPatty        How are you ??

So what tips do you find that works for you as a carer ,

[PeppiPatty]

Oops hi @Shaz51 I was going to put your and @Janna's name down but my post didn't finish and I've got something eye rolling to write to you later :0)

Sorry my message didn't finish :

But I wanted to write the most important thing is you
It has taken me years to learn this and my partner un fairly but .....typically falling into jail for a time .......
No matter what I do I immediately think
: how is this action
How is me saying this
Going to affect me.
Will it put me under too much stress.

Its a hard hard activity but writing on Sane forums and people too many to remember so I will just write 4 .......but there's many more .....
@Former-Member and the girls
@Former-Member
@Janna @Troubled_One
@Ruth @Jacques ....
Arlo ( love my dog Arlo and @LittleBuddah

Thank you all esp. Moderarors

[PeppiPatty]

This is my eye rolling gossip to @Shaz51 who will have a giggle ...., hope others do to ....,
I live in an awesome place in public housing
..., I've worked very hard to be where I am etc etc but this morning I took my hub to train station and wanted to sit in park next to train station and use free WiFi: drink a coffee etc. So I loaded Arlo, computer hubby in a drove to train station
1 realised I forgot my wallet drove home : got paranoid someone would steal my computer from car so carried my computer in from car when in house and grabbed my wallet and drove back into town to sit in the park. And use computer
But forgot the computer so when I found a parking place o started up again ----- drove back home ------ forgot why I went home and drove back into town -------- found another parking place for free ------- remembered why I needed to get home in the first place ------ started the car up again +----- realised I needed to just relax so came home and decided to do my computing at home !!!!

Any other silly stories from carers as silly as this one ?????

[PeppiPatty]

That's so true - don't take it to heart they don't mean it !!

[Shaz51]

Hi ,    can I just ask about your comment -- (for his newly diagnosed depression) how long was he diagnosed and was everything you did ok before he was diagnosed -- if so , don`t change anything

that is what i am learning , it is taking time because i want to do more for him , and i know he loves me just how i am

so i think he is giving you a little hint

[NikNik]

Happy Monday all!

Thanks to @Shaz51 @PeppiPatty and @Janna for your responses to last week's question.

This week's Ask Anything Monday question is:

I have been able to arrange more support for my adult child who I use to be full time carer for. Now that he doesn't live with me anymore, I've made a conscious decision to 'get back out there' and form relationships (friendships mostly.. but if a romantic relationship came up, that would be good too). I'm completely out of practice when it comes to social situations.

I've been a full time carer for so long and I'm not employed, so I don't have anything to talk about. It's like I'm finding myself again, so when people ask about my interests, hobbies etc, I don't have an answer for them! How do you connect with the 'real world' again?

[Shaz51]

Hi, the first step is always the biggest step , it will take time , start by finding things that you like to do , get involved in the community ,  take one step at a time , enjoy getting to know yourself again , start with yourself and let others things happen.