Topic Tuesday // Let's Chat: Safer Internet Day // Tues 8th February, 7:00-8:30PM AEDT

[RandleMcMurphy]

I have posted a short list of ideas, for consideration..

[Mum8]

She is 16 years old. The OCD is giving her the feeling that she needs her privacy so we haven't even felt that we can check her history for a long time but if possible I would like to be in a position to do that.

[Daisydreamer]

This year’s theme is Play it Fair Online, which encourages all of us to be safe, respectful and kind in online spaces. Let’s talk about what each of these mean for our online spaces both here at SANE and more broadly.  
 
Question 1: What does safety online mean to you?  

Question 2: Have you had experiences online that have felt unsafe or been exposed to unsafe content, and how did you take action to address the situation? 

We might explore these two questions tonight, and open the conversation over the course of the week with more questions 🙂 

[CrazyChick]

I would like to feel safer on the internet, particularly on saneforums. Although I have never posted my real name, address or any easily identifiable details on the forum, I worry that I have revealed too much of my life story & details of my mental health and other difficulties. I have experienced past trauma by another person and worry that he might be able to search for me online from what he already knows be able to identify me, find out more of my personal experiences, and use this information to further traumatise me. I have also received legal advice to not talk about any incidents involving this person online - in case he is able to find it and use against me. So now I try to get support mostly by reading others posts and responding supportively, as I feel unable to share my own experiences safely anymore. I would love any advice on ways to best utilise forums, but in a safe way.

[Mum8]

I should have also mentioned that as far as I'm aware she plays some games such as mindcraft so I'm not too concerned about that; however, I believe she also watches a lot of youtube (some I think is harmless such as animal videos) but I think she may have been looking up information on things such as gender and sexuality as she has started to get very upset with lots of questions about these issues which she never had previously. I know some of this would be natural thinking going through puberty but in talking to her psychiatrist she mentioned that on forums involving these sorts of topics there are a lot of very influential people grooming others but I want to be careful that I don't sound like I'm invalidating her thoughts if I mention any concern about this

[Former-Member]

@Mum8 it must be quite difficult to be in a position where you want to be able to support her, both in terms of her OCD but to also ensure that she is safe online. 

You mentioned that you her therapist has encouraged you to support her autonomy regarding her internet use, but I'm wondering if you've been able to have an open discussion about them with the behaviour that you've noticed and the concerns you currently have?

The eSafety Commissioner website has a great resource for parents and carers looking for assistance around keeping their young people safe online – https://www.esafety.gov.au/parents/webinars

I'm hoping you might find the above resource helpful in opening up these kinds of discussions with your family. I know it must be quite challenging, please know you're not alone 💙

[Mum8]

Your situation sounds really hard as you obviously using the forum to get support. I'm very new to using any of these forums myself and even finding out infomation from Sane.org of open door but I wonder if for the moment the best support for personal concerns for you would be via phone chatting

[Mum8]

Thank you. I will look into the above website.
The current therapist has suggested that wherever possible I do try and take some parenting back but she understands that this will be easier said than done. I'm attempting to do this in some other ways before tackling the internet issues. Eg. suggesting that she come out of her room occasionally to assist me with a household chore as this hasn't happened for a long time either.Obstacles such as new medication causing nausea are preventing this at the moment but if I can get a bit of this happening soon, it might remind her that I am her parent and she may start to expect that it is normal for me check online history etc. again. I know that it will be a slow process but I'll work towards it.
Thank you for your guidance

[Daisydreamer]

Hi @CrazyChick, you raise some really important points around internet safety and the amount of information that is shared in online and public spaces. I am so sorry to hear what you have been through and feeling of being unsafe in the online world No one should have to feel like this  

You mentioned that you are careful now about what you share online, and information about particular people. This sounds like a really important boundary. When you are sharing in an online space, do you have some boundaries in place for yourself around what and how you share to minimise the risk?

I also wanted to share with you the esafety information around supports available should you experience harassment, further traumatising or bullying online. There are some great resources for women, and support available to you if you feel you are being stalked or abused online: https://www.esafety.gov.au/women. 

It sounds like you have taken steps for your safety, such as engaging a lawyer. In a Forums context, what things do you think would help you feel safer?

[HenryX]

Hello @Mum8 

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