Topic Tuesday // Healthy Relationships in Lockdown // Tues 31st August, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

[Daisydreamer]

Hi @chibam,

It sounds like there are a lot of big questions you have related to interpersonal connections and the mental health system. Connections are core to wellbeing and safety.

I want to acknowledge that in this space we may not have all answers to the important questions you have raised about boundaries at a systemic level. Moreso, we will be able to talk to interpersonal boundaries that each person sets for their individual wellbeing.

Even though we might not be able to address you question in full tonight, I do want to acknowledge what you have raised here and the ongoing systemic issues and questions being raised in the mental health system

[Former-Member]

@JungleGiants definitely the times we choose to talk about important topics are important. It might be useful to pay attention to what is happening in your body when a topic is brought up. If you're not wanting to talk about that specific topic at that time, you can say something like - This is an important conversation and I would like to give it my full attention. Right now I won't be able to give it my full attention. Let's talk about this tomorrow.

[Anastasia]

Hi all 👋

I love, love love your suggestions @Former-Member thank you. I will re visit tomorrow and make notes. I'm working from home and I am the only one so it's easy for the rest to forget and turn up the music, fling open the door and just start talking etc...

Oh and don't get me started on my relationship. What's that saying..."Absence makes the heart grow fonder" lol

[cloudcore]

Question 4: How do you handle breach of boundaries/conflict that may arise from these conversations? What are some conflict resolution skills to keep in mind? 

[Former-Member]

Question 4: How do you handle breaches of boundaries/conflicts that may arise from these conversations? What are some conflict resolution skills to keep in mind? 

Remain calm OR create some physical distance between you and your partner until you are calmer. When you are ready, express what your boundary is and what your expectation is from the other person at that time.

For example:

• When I am on the phone, I do not appreciate being interrupted or being asked questions. As I have indicated previously, you would have to wait until I am finished with my phone call.
• When we are resolving conflict, I don’t want to be yelled at. When either one of us starts yelling, I will remove myself from the argument until we can speak to each other respectfully.

• Use the communication tips outlined above.
  
  

[JungleGiants]

Thanks @Former-Member, I am definately the problem in that situation in that i chat too much at night, ill pass that on

[Former-Member]

@Shaz51 Having an awareness of what your needs are and recognizing when you have not maintained a boundary or engaged in self-care is just as important. Once you recognize these, you can take action. I am glad to hear that you are reaching out for support and implementing boundaries as you need. This is not always an easy process. Good on you for pushing through and looking after yourself.

[Daisydreamer]

@JungleGiants I really love that you used the term "work in progress"- I think that is a really great way to summarise the learning experience that is setting and communicating our boundaries with others. There's a trial and error in working out what works for communication, I often find even person to person or group to group it changes.  It sounds like you are starting to put some strategies in place, and trying approaches to see what works. It's all a learning experience isn't it? 

[cloudcore]

Hi @Anastasia, nice to see you here! 

Communication skills and respect for boundaries are key for relationships. You're more than welcome to revisit and take notes tomorrow 

[Former-Member]

@JungleGiants it sounds like you're a bit of a night owl and may be more focused at night. This is where you can check whether the other person has the capacity to engage in an important conversation. When you do that, you show them that you respect their boundaries as well. You might be surprised, you might find a few night owls out there 🙂