Online Event // Setting Boundaries as a Carer - with ARAFMI // Weds Aug 26th, 7-8.30pm AEST

[FindingStrength]

VERY hard to do. Ms Teen has lots of social anxiety, prefers to play on xbox etc, preference for her friends (normal part of the teen period) & quite different lifestyle choices. 

I have tried playing Mario Cart with her in the evenings, going out for lunch (pre covid), beach outings, op shopping, movies..... 

Try to think of things she might like to do, but honestly she doesn't seem to be interested. I'm hoping to get agreement for some family therapy to work on our relationship so that we can feel more comfortable with each other.

[Former-Member]

No problem @Anastasia Hope your son is travelling okay! 👋
@Hydrangea Wow, this is so immensely interesting and I thank you for sharing. Sounds like an incredible idea...It really is worth looking into different resources. Sometimes that real discomfort of boundary setting or stepping away for a moment is vital for our loved ones recovery. Exercising different skills such as self-awareness, distress tolerance and the opportunity to regulate emotion independently  

[luckymeaunty]

Creating new experiences and memories

[Hydrangea]

My husband and I took our son (23) to a walk in a national park in Springbrook last weekend.  We deliberately did not talk about our usual topic surrounding the illness.  Three of us shared the same challenge of the walk (it was tough!).  We connected through a common goal.  It was beautiful.

[FindingStrength]

@Bron Actually, yes - sometimes we have some fantastic conversations in the car. Maybe always being observant for the opportunities as they arise to connect is a good strategy too.

[Dama]

Outings such as for sushi. Spend time on lighter things like being shown posts, blogs, etc they've found... widens my horizons too. And gives a chance to laugh, sometimes a great checking-out from stress for us both. Same with music, I'd never have discovered as much on my own, or developed such an appreciation of rap music.

[Shaz51]

@Bron , @Former-Member 

We do nearly  everything  together as my husband  think that if he is with me , he is ok 

[Former-Member]

@FindingStrength Hearing you.. You've got that dual challenge of your girl living with mental health challenges as well as the surge of teenage hormones. I imagine at times it's tricky to differentiate between what is part of the usual teenage challenges and what is her social anxiety? Props to you on trying to jump into mario kart with her! Keep us updated on how you go in engaging her in family therapy, I've often heard it's a game changer with the parent/child relationship. Lots of incredible strategies out there In the meantime our forum is here to listen & support you as well 🙂 

[Centro]

Thank you nashy, getting loved one's psychologist to realise appointments every 3 weeks to see how he's feeling and a gp who referred to marriage counselling shows how much "mis-education" and work to be done, in the meantime the walls get thumped and life stresses on with frustration, that's my experience so far,,,

[luckymeaunty]

I love what you are doing, thinking about what she would like to do together. And I guess asking what she would like you both to do together, she might surprise you with some very simple activity. Gently asking if she would like to do something, even if she says no, shows her you do care for her.