Online Event // Setting Boundaries as a Carer - with ARAFMI // Weds Aug 26th, 7-8.30pm AEST

[FindingStrength]

Gosh thanks @Former-Member I'm certainly trying hard & constantly working on myself so that I don't react to her reactions. Recognising & forgiving my own childhood conditioning - like onion layers.

Recently, I realised that I actually can't prevent my daughter from doing some things & that its not logical, reasonable or helpful to try to wrap her in cotton wool. Obviously, I try to reduce risks, but sometimes experience is the most effective teacher hey...

I'm finding that somehow, I'm slowly being able to gain some boundaries now that I am getting braver at allowing the reactions to come.

[FindingStrength]

"make an agreement" Like this idea, thanks!

[Former-Member]

@luckymeaunty This is brilliant - "one task at a time". And even that idea is great for carers to reflect on.. How do we break things into smaller chunks to ensure we don't burnout? It sounds like communication is very important to you too @luckymeaunty which is a wonderful skill. 

@Bron Thanks for this amazing insight. It's important to remember there's not always a right time to have tricky chats, and it's important to communicate our own needs in any relationship whether or not it's as a mental health carer, friend or family member. Thank you for this. 

[Centro]

I'm living at the end of the line so to speak in Far North Queensland, getting professional help has proven more than difficult, there is just 1 DBT group available within 300K's here - and its booked out. Meanwhile "there's nothing wrong with me" continues unabated.

[Shaz51]

@Bron , @Former-Member 

Yes it is very easy to falling into doing everything  for our love ones, 

Over time I have being learning and giving suggestions  to encourage  and to support  my husband  

[Dama]

Dealing with apptmts was taken on by choice, but there's often delays in doing it that make situation tougher sometimes. Having probs re basic home stuff, it's always left out as feeling other stresses are needing the attention. And they are so tired,yet don't sleep much.

[FindingStrength]

Thats a really good question that I'm open to suggestions on as I've kind of gone with intuition & observation so far. It seems to fluctuate along with the well-being of Ms Teen. It seems to be just slowly slowly & asking if she wants any assistance as things arise.

[luckymeaunty]

Due to the pandemic many support groups etc are online, so you may be able to take advantage of this and ‘attend’ groups, info meetings, and forums like this, all around the country. In this way, even if the person you are caring for doesn’t wish to join in, you can get support and education for yourself.

[Former-Member]

@Centro oh gosh that's very limited isn't it - one group. Very frustrating indeed for both of you no doubt. There's certainly a lot of need for more DBT peer groups, but in the meantime our community is here to support you and provide you with skills or resources as you need 🙂 After the event feel free to share your story about your loved one's diagnosis here (click on New Discussion). Our community would be happy to help 

[FindingStrength]

@Centro isolation is one of the hardest things to deal with. I've made contact with a carer advocate through a service in WA & have found that helpful. Can you have some phone or skype counseling on some of these things??