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wild_rose
Contributor

I'm New Here

So I just thought I'd introduce myself.

I'm really not good at these things, but here goes.

I stumbled onto this forum and am in dire need of support.

I'm late 30's engaged and my relationship is struggling at the moment as all my mental health issues have flared up yet again. I have BPD and also Bipolar.

I was diagnosed over 10 years ago with both but never accepted the BPD diagnosis and tried to pretend it didn't exist, it's only been recently I have been forced to accept it due to everything going on. My emotion are all over the place. I'm reacting to everything, it's driving my partner up the wall and it's hard to know what each day is going be like.

I'm linked in with Psych triage and we are trialling new meds. I'm just after a safe space to vent and have my emotions heard without fear of judgement or being told I'm over reacting or to grow up.

Things are hard at the moment and somedays it feels I'm fighting a losing battle and it's taking all my strength. If things get much worse I know I'll end up in hospital which is not where I want to be. 

I really have no where else to turn where people understand, so here I am

6 REPLIES 6

Re: I'm New Here

Hello and welcome, I have a 30 year old child, I actually have 4 children, 30 26 23 21.  Two of my 4 are struggling.  Two ok.  My youngest bipolar PTSD, anxiety depression.  He's reluctant to accept GP help, psych help, has tried meds but made him worse.  I so wish he would accept help. Same for me re medications.  I have some things that help me sleep and I use white noise at night.  But have had years of insomnia.  My daughter is more receptive to being proactive.  I think maybe girls are? Idk.  My advise to you, is firstly, good on you for being under medical care, if you feel like you need to expand that for some more answers or advise ask for a mental health care plan, and perhaps try a new therapist. They may have a fresh approach.  If medication is something you are on or considering that's great, a lot of people have great success once they find out what works for them.  don't be too hard on yourself it's been the hardest few years on us all let alone those of us with a little more challenging life.  Put more things into your life that make you happy no matter how small or silly to some else, if you like sitting in the sun with a glass of wine colouring in or painting, do it.  if you have a partner and you find you are feeling overwhelmed pick 1 topic to discuss at a good time, perhaps over a cuppa in the arvo.  Not at the end of the day or night time just before sleep. Try to stick to 1 topic, be heard, make a plan together. He may not have the answers but you'll feel better if he just listens and holds space.  For the rest make a list.  Deal with 1 topic, 1 day & 1 issue at a time.  Also keep a little book to finish off the day with 3 things that made u happy or things you are grateful for, things like the warmth of the sun, the way my hot chocolate smelt today, my doggos warm body beside me on the lounge.  I find paying attention to the smallest loveliest things help.  Even on our crappy days there is some nice points.  Don't believe everyone's perfect life on social media it's false.  Don't think everyone's out all the time happy socialising all the time they aren't.  No one posts cleaning their toilet or having an arvo nap.  I wish you only the best.  Happy to chat if you feel like we relate 

Re: I'm New Here

Hello  @wild_rose

 

I noticed your post and thought that I may be able to talk with you. There are quite a few people active on the forum who are dealing with the issues associated with BPD and also Bipolar. So I believe that connecting with some of the people here, whether for an opportunity to express how you are feeling {Venting}, wanting to talk about how your issues impact on your life, or in some of the lighter hearted social threads will, I hope, assist you in where you are at, at present.

"

From my own perspective, and to give a bit of background, I have been reliably informed that my father, who passed away in 2006, suffered Bipolar. While I have not been diagnosed as having Bipolar, there are significant areas of my life where I see connections and parallels. I have been diagnosed as having ADHD and clinical depression. Both those diagnoses were provided 20+ years ago. However, I believe that some of the issues that I have faced would now have been picked up if the same services had been available then. If I were a child or teenager today, I'm pretty certain that the issues would have been sooner and better identified. Being past retirement age, I simply deal with things as well as I can, but still take a fairly high level of medication for the depression. My life history has been something like a badly managed railway – regular train wrecks, so anything that I can do that may assist others, I am more than pleased to do.

"

You are at about the same age that I was when those diagnoses were given, so let's hope that you fair better than I have, not that it has all been bad for me. There are certainly a lot more resources and service providers than there was even as recently as 20 or 30 years ago. Some are very good and, from my own experience, and what I have heard from others, some are just there to pick up their paycheck. So I do hope that contacts, here on the forum will be able to give you ideas that will assist in decision making and possibly selection of potential provider choices.

"

The increase in life pressures, be they of a pleasant or even joyful nature, or just general increases in commitments, often are influences that bring on, or contribute to the development of issues that may have been latent or less apparent before. That is often compounded by the desire to ignore or simply not believe that there may be latent, repressed or even more obvious symptoms or indications of problems that we may not want to believe, or to face. I believe that you are definitely not on your own in that regard. We often try to go round and push on.

"

Being able to talk with other people, who have had or are experiencing similar issues, is often helpful, if only to know that our concerns are not peculiar to us individually. We never wish these things for someone else, but it is helpful to know that we are not on our own.

"

Your sentence including the statement, “we are trialling new meds. I'm just after a safe space to vent and have my emotions heard without fear of judgement or being told I'm over reacting or to grow up.” is so often said when new members join that I think maybe we should have a thread just for that. However, in reality, you will find that many, if not most of the people on the forum have felt the same way and therefore will talk with you with courtesy, respect, acceptance and understanding.

"

With My Best Wishes

@HenryX 

 

Some Additional Information that I hope will be helpful

To reply to me or anyone else, just "copy and paste" their forum address {for me @HenryX for you @wild_rose } into the "reply" box.

"

Alternatively, with the mouse-cursor in the reply box you can type the symbol @. A drop down list will be presented. When you click on a forum address in the drop down list, you will see that address included in your message. Just repeat the process to add more forum addresses.

"

You have successfully posted your message to which this is my response.

  • Now the way to know who has answered you is to look at the word New near the top right of the page and just to the right of the words Guidelines & Info .

  • When a message has been sent to you, there will be a small circle attached to the word New . In the circle will be a number which tells you how many messages are waiting for you.

  • Clicking on the word New will take you to the "Your Notifications" page.

  • On the "Your Notifications" page, you will see a list of the messages that have been addressed to you with your forum address @wild_rose  and also those messages that have been posted in threads in which you have been active. Initially, the list of Notifications will be small and gradually will increase with your activity.

  • It is worthwhile having a look at the Guidelines & Info so that you are aware of ways to protect your own identity and that of others. The anonymity of people using the website is protected by the provisions detailed in the Guidelines & Info

  • This is a starting point. We can gradually build up knowledge on other functions of the site. I hope this information will help. If you have any questions, please ask in any thread. This thread will be a starting point, but I look forward to assisting you explore other functions of the site.

  • I really hope that we can assist you in your progress.

Look forward to catching up with you again, possibly later today,

With Best Wishes

@HenryX 

 

 

Re: I'm New Here

Hey @wild_rose 

 

Vent away but try to do it in a Ron Burgendy way.. Keep it classy. Smiley Happy

Re: I'm New Here

Hi @wild_rose from 2007 to 2016 I didn't get help for my complex MH issue, 2011 I went to get tested, 2016 got meds but didn't accept it till 2021 I'm in my 30s now and only found the meds that work, which is better late than never I know. I'm now asking why I denied or didn't accept it for that long and it's called anosognosia I had to google it.

if you wanna take my advice, bite the bullet. You have to let go of some stuff and hold on to what you need but I'm happy, at least for now - working on a Cert to help people in/was my position. I hope all the best for you

Re: I'm New Here

Hey @wild_rose welcome to the Forums! 

I think you'll find a nice place to vent free of judgement here for sure! 

I share some of your experiences and also find it hard to predict what days are going to like. It canbe really frustrating and scary. Particularly when we don't want to hurt our loved ones. You are not alone in this. Smiley Happy 

- periwinklepixie 

Re: I'm New Here

Hi @wild_rose 

I hope you do find this a safe space to vent your feelings. It is human nature to want to feel listened to, but so often people labelled with BPD are denied this support. People with a BPD diagnosis are often stigmatised by mental health services for over-reacting or being too demanding, and often the only mental health care they receive is crisis management that tries to reduce their demand on health services. However the distress experienced is real and should not be ignored. I hope that you not only have crisis support, by also the support of someone who is willing to listen, be non-judgemental and help you work out ways to cope with your day-to-day distress - preferably a psychologist. If you don't yet have the right person to listen and support you - then this forum is a great place to vent and be heard by people whose experiences often mean they are able to emphasise with your challenges.

 

Most people who are diagnosed with BPD have experienced trauma, often over a period of time. The trauma maybe related to childhood, domestic violence, or any other traumatic event/s or  prolonged period/s of stress in your life. This trauma causes symptoms that can be diagnosed as either BPD, PTSD or other diagnosis. Other people may not have recognised the trauma, but it is how you feel that matters.  It can help to get trauma-informed counselling - such as by psychologists specialising in counselling psychology. When your body & brain is so overwhelmed by many stressful events happening now &/or from the past, then you have little reserves left to cope with new challenges. If you can find ways to reduce your overwhelming stressors then you may be better able to cope. Be kind to yourself. Indulge in things that help you feel good (provided they are safe). It is not your fault that you currently have a small window of tolerance and get overwhelmed easily. You did not choose to be like this.

 

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