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Welcome & getting started

AlwaysHappy
Senior Contributor

Hi, it's been a while

Hi everyone, I joined this forum around 3 years ago, but have not posted in a while. Time flies! I'm not sure if this is the right space to post this discussion thread, so please re-direct me if necessary.

It has been a challenging 5 or so years for my family. I have been carer for my eldest two children who have experienced mental health issues including ptsd, eating disorders and gender dysphoria. The issues are ongoing, but we have seen some improvement. It can get easier so hang in there. 

The reason I am posting is I would like to hear from others who have felt their own mental health slide due to a caring role, and have experienced changes, in particular with social and personal relationships.

For a long time now, our family have not gone out or done much (due to anxiety/panic attacks etc of the older kids) and I have found that I stopped talking to friends because I did not want to answer questions about my life challenges, and that if I did, I felt worse because the responses I received were well meaning, but unhelpful because people couldn't truly understand how things really were for us.

I recognise that I have let things go and that although I now experience my own (relatively milder) mental health issues, I would like to work on friendships and relationships. The problem is, I don't know how to start. I feel like I have forgotten how to makes friends and be social. I still feel that when the day comes to a close, all I want to do is lay under my blankets away from everything. Not very social of me. I tend to be able to do everything I need to do for everyone else, I do a good job at work and I keep an ordered (not spotless, but tidy) house. I just have little left for me. Basically, I feel alone sometimes, but a bit stuck to know how to go about fixing it. Does anyone feel the same way? Has anyone been able to get past this? Thanks for listening. Sending you all care. Oh, and I like being active, animals, coffee, and reading. 

30 REPLIES 30

Re: Hi, it's been a while

hello and welcome back @AlwaysHappy , it is soo good seeing you here again Heart

have you had any of your friends kept in contact at all 

all my friends have stopped all contact with me 

but i have found the Sane Forum is really good for support nd encouragements 

@Judi9877@frog@Faith-and-Hope@Anastasia@Smc@Appleblossom@NatureLover@greenpea 

Re: Hi, it's been a while

@Shaz51 @AlwaysHappy Hi Shaz51 and welcome back AlwaysHappy Smiley Very Happy love your namex

Re: Hi, it's been a while

hugs my @greenpea Heart

@AlwaysHappy, how has your day been today my friend xx

Re: Hi, it's been a while

Hi @AlwaysHappy  .... 👋💕

 

Thanjs for the tag @Shaz51 🌷

Re: Hi, it's been a while

Hi @AlwaysHappy Smiley Happy.

 

I can relate to your lack of real-world friends and the perils of people not understanding your situation. However, unlike yourself, I am not a carer.

 

In my case, I don't get much opportunity to meet new people, and on the rare occasions that I do, their never my kind of people, you know? I have no idea what the solution is.Smiley Sad

 

I think we're all just hanging out for the government to create a new service to unite like-minded people who we'll connect with very well.Smiley Frustrated

Re: Hi, it's been a while

Hi @Shaz51 thanks for taking the time to read and reply to my post. Friends still talk to me, just very intermittently, which is fair considering my availability to them has been intermittent. The friendship does not feel the same. I know I have changed a lot, so there is no blame. I am glad to hear you have found support here with this forum. I hope I can be a supporting friend too.

Re: Hi, it's been a while

Thanks @greenpea. I did consider changing it to OccasionallyHappyButMoreOftenJustWantingCoffeeAndAWalkInTheSunWithMyDog. I couldn't work out how to do that 🙃

Re: Hi, it's been a while

Hi @ Faith-and-Hope, thanks for reading and replying and reaching out to say hi 👋💕

Re: Hi, it's been a while

Today has been okay, thank you for asking. I am on my own for 4 days with the kids while my partner is away (with my parents, would you believe!?). Day 1 down with no issues, so feeling a little more relaxed.
How about your day?
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