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  • Author : Zoe7
  • support : 3
  • Topic : Welcome & getting started
2020-10-17T12:05:13+00:00
Senior Contributor

Hey @NarcSurvivor It really is about finding a balance. I too was much like you - work was my life and it consumed me 24/7 until I got very sick and the massive crash came. As a result I was off work for over 2 years. Going back to work eventually meant a lot of change. It wasn't just a mental change or change of attitude to work, I had to set priorities for my health and well being also. It is not an easy change to make but seeing work as 'everything' places extra stress on us also when things there are not ideal. Making time for yourself and enjoying even the simple things in life helped me. It is not possible for me to leave work at work as I am a teacher and there is so much extra work that needs to be done outside of actual work times but I have gotten better at setting limits on what I can actually achieve and giving myself time to just be. I also do not take on any extra responsibilities as I once did and that has come about from setting my own boundaries and also knowing what I can achieve reaslistically whilst still having a life outside of work ...that part I am still working on.

 

It really is a whole of lifestyle change that often needs to happen though and that is not easy. Start by setting small achievable goals. It may be a walk every day or listening to music to relax once you get home. Having 3 kids would no doubt make time for yourself harder but it is still important you find that time. Maybe set aside half an hour a night that is just for you and then build that up gradually. Your kids can occupy themselves for a time whilst you look after you - and the more you do that the more they will get used to it also.

 

Being successful in our work does not mean a lot if we are not happy in our lives and we are the only ones that can change that. Life is about more than what we do - it is about who we are and you have certainly had enough to contend with yet still keep pushing forward so now it is time to find yourself again. I do know that is not easy either but getting through what you have, fully functioning in your work and bringing up your kids show your strength. Channel some of that strength into other aspects of your life and feel the increasing confidence develop as you do. It really is baby steps but they all count.

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