What you are going through at the moment sounds incredibly challenging and it is very brave of you to reach out here on the Forums.
I imagine you are facing a lot of emotions at the moment and I am glad you are not facing them alone. I encourage you to treat yourself kindly while you come to terms with this recent experience and take extra good care of yourself.
If you need urgent assistance, see Need help now
For mental health information, guidance and referrals, see the SANE Help Centre
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PO Box 226 South Melbourne 3205 Australia