Lived Experience Forum

[Confused18]

Hi @Aniela,

I must say the way you explain everything it's so perfectly done 🙂

I truly admire it and I will definitely be looking at my emotions more closely and trying to understand the message behind them.
Your analogy is great, we take the time to understand why our children are feeling a certain way but never really look deep in ourselves in the same situations, well I don't enough anyway 🙂

I will be from now on and thank you for the compliment and advice again. 

[Martian]

Hi @Confused18,

Yes playgroup helped and the local community garden sharing vegetables and children are welcome. I hope you keep looking for groups for you and your two children, being alone with a husband who is cocooning is difficult. You are a normal mum, stressing, worrying, learning, reaching out and having differences with your co-parent (husband). Anger is one of the million emotions you feel in a day when you parent. Having two children is great because they have each other even when they get to teens and don't always want us adults to talk to. You'll see how they have their spats but they seek each other out for support. Worrying is what parenting should be called. Because you are giving you don't want to burden others, and I often kept the peace, for a peaceful family home. I did seperate but my husband became violent, I hope you are safe. Be proud of yourself, you have two children a husband who can't use dishwashing liquid and you're reaching out, always reach out, it takes a village to raise children. Don't let anyone push your buttons, keep your cool, you got this.

[Maggie]

@Martian  Well said. 

@Confused18 💙💙

[Confused18]

Hi @Martian,

Thank you, with restrictions dropping slowly we'll be able to do some playgroups soon which will help us get out and socialize more which I really think will be great for my mental health. 

I apologize I may have worded my last reply wrong, we only have 1 child at the moment, my burden is that I don't want her to be alone but I'm also really not sure I can bring myself to having another child with my husband and if I do it would be for my daughter so she's not alone. I feel this isn't the right reason to bring another child into the world but I also feel we're running out of time as she's almost 3, so I feel I'm hurting my daughter as she's alone. I really want her to have what you mentioned in having a sibling so they can support each other through life. 
I'm so sorry to hear you experienced violence with your ex husband. No one deserves that and I hope you're going well now. I am safe physically thank you for checking, mentally I do feel he gaslights me when I try and talk to him about things as he doesn't like to be called out for something he's done or said. 
I'm grateful for my daughter she is my absolute world and I appreciate my husband for supporting our family so I can raise our daughter and work/study part time. Unfortunately the dish soap problem is a fairly minor issue among many. 
My village is quite bare and not close by due to living where my husbands friends and other commitments are, I've lost most of my friends over the years from distance and life getting in the way. I have realised how much I have lost over the years and am reconnecting with friends and focusing on what I need which is progress. I'm grateful I also found this community to be able to talk through things burdening my mind. 

Thank you

[Maggie]

@Confused18  I think easing restrictions is going to make a big difference for many in Melbourne. Playgroups and socialising will certainly help overall.

I understand your reasons for wanting a sibling for your daughter. I hope you can work through the situation. Things aren’t easy are they.

Reconnecting with friends and other commitments gives you some kind of life to enjoy. You deserve that.

Take care. Thanks for the update.

[Martian]

Hi Confused18, sorry if I misunderstood you, I have twins but if I had 1 child I would have stopped because of Post Natal Depression. I felt I couldn't possibly give a beautiful baby everything and I wanted to. I'm sorry you're being gaslighted, it's sad because you may dought yourself if it continues, being heard is important and as a mum it's hard enough, with a world mass culture of picking on mum's and advertising so many things we need to make us better mums. My twins are 22 and I know from experience that kids need us as we are, for who we are, the efforts we put in mean alot to kids. Thank you for you kindness about my ex husband's abuse. I'm glad you are reaching out. If you don't want another child, you can use childcare, groups etc to provide the comfort your child needs. I'm glad you're reaching out and reconnecting. If you want meditation suggestions, I have left you a link, you may have a centre near you, the Brahma Kumari's.https://youtu.be/fgChzlOt3XI . Children are welcome.