Lived Experience Forum

[Wickedred]

I am feeling complete mistrust in all areas of my life.

[justanotherguy]

Do you trust yourself? (You don't have to answer that of course, but it's a good place to start).

EDIT: depending on many factors, it can take many years for people to trust themselves, there's no set rules.

[tyme]

Firstly, welcome to the forums @Wickedred .

I'm sorry to read that you do not feel you can trust anyone. It sounds like you have been through considerable hurt and pain.

I'm here if you want to chat or if there's anything you'd like to share with the community. Most, if not all, here have had their fair share of hurt and pain.

Perhaps by sharing part of your journey, others may be able to shed light on the experiences, as well as share times when they have felt a similar way.

Whatever it is, there's no pressure whatsoever. It is completely up to you and with these forums being anonymous, I hope it helps you to feel safer in sharing.

Please take care,

tyme

[Wickedred]

Thank you for your response. 

I have had considerable pain and hurt from being to trusting in the past. I really just want to be able to enjoy life and not constantly have this battle in my mind.

[Wickedred]

The short answer is no I do not trust myself. 

[DKW2DO]

@Wickedred Sorry you are in that space...it is certainly impossible to manage this one at times...I have the same issue and just try to sit with it - hopefully the next time the anxiety is a little less and the experience a little more positive. 

[tyme]

There was a long time I lost trust in everything around me @justanotherguy . I withdrew from the world and disconnected because I didn't want to get hurt.

Then one day, this revelation came to me. If I want to feel love, acceptance, and belonging, I have to be willing to feel the hurt that comes with it. By withdrawing myself, I won't feel the hurt, but I won't experience the positives either.... it all depends on whether you are ready to be hurt and whether you want things to change.

Sitting with you, tyme

[justanotherguy]

@tyme , trusting yourself was actually ok for me, but I began acting up early on & started to not trust my actions. I guess a lot of kids act out in different ways for different reasons. But I began to see how selfish most folks can be, and learned that most people will eventually let you down. It became second nature, as it was so predictable, I became blase about it - when somebody let me down, I just ghosted them and moved on. Perhaps people think I'm arrogant or something, but I value trust, obviously more than others. It's worse when they seem ok for a while, then stab you in the back. I'm at an age now where I don't need to impress anyone anymore, let the dogs lie in their own fleas.

[tyme]

Makes sense @justanotherguy .

For me, I acted out late.... very late. I was always 'good' until my late teens, early adulthood. I always seem to be a few years behind.....

Hence, I got hurt later on in life. And it's not until now that I'm blase about people... if they hurt me, I'm like, "Meh?" and move on.

[justanotherguy]

@tyme , society will always target people who act up, but you had to learn late. They way it's done is cruel though, people rarely tell you what's going on until you're standing before a judge. It's so backwards, but just part of the system.