Lived Experience Forum

[Lenavampyre]

Um. Hi. Have been through 2 major traumas ,several suicide attempts. 

2 years since my last suicide thought process. I am very alone and still recovering from physical attack 2016.

3 operations from 5 stab wounds to save my life. 

I am safe.  Omg. I recently met a councillor which I really connected with. I have spoken with her about really personal stuff I have never shared before. 

I been to 3 rehabs and never discussed this stuff. 

Massive change in myself in 8 weeks. 

Eating well. Still have trouble leaving my home for to long.

Hope everyone is well.

[PlantLover]

Hello @Lenavampyre, welcome!! 
Oh goodness it sounds like you've been through so much 😭 

Honestly I've been loving this forum, I hope you do too. There's this incredible feeling being able to speak to others that understand.

I also have been through some trauma, many suicide attempts, self harm. I have a PTSD, BPD and anxiety diagnoses. 
I've found it so difficult to find the right therapist, I'd find one and then they would move away. Let's hope yours sticks around!

What has helped you in your recovery?? 

[Judi9877]

Hi @Lenavampyre Welcome to the forums! It's great to meet you. I hope you find the forums safe and welcoming as I and many others have. I'm a Community Guide here on the forums and one of my roles is to make new forum members welcome and to show them around. You've done a great job telling us about yourself which is a great start. Thank you for that!

I see you've had many different traumatic experiences which I can understand to be hard for you, including experiences with suicide. I have also experienced suicide in the past along with experiencing several mental illnesses myself. I'm sure you'll find many different forum members who have had similar experiences to you that you can connect with. The way to do that is by using the @ function to tag members names and to find different topics on the forums such as sports for example in the All Things Sport... area. Please make yourself aware of the Community guidelines which include things about what can and can't be spoken about for many reasons. They are there to protect not only yourself but all forum members as well. 

I hope you'll find the support you need here on the forums. You'll often find that you aren't t alone and that there are many people who have been through similar things who you can connect to. I hope you'll find the forums a safe, friendly and enjoyable space. I look forward to seeing you around!

Judi9877☺️

[Lenavampyre]

Hi.

One of my other traumas, has been long time addiction. In the last 5years, I have been able to give up 3 substance. The remaining, being alcohol.

The main thing, I don't want to get sick anymore. Can't go out,talk to anyone, can't get help.

I have recently taken up reward ing myself differently. Things to make me broke, do I can't drink, things for for my house that I really appreciate every day. Pots, nice new towels, nice cuts of meat. Omg. Recently, deserts!

And a really nice councillor. 

I also decided to  move away from the addict discussion and focused on my long term mental health issues. 

Made all the difference with my councillor. 

Sorry to reply so long, I had an appointment today. It was alright. Still struggled at the end. Had to get safe!

[Lenavampyre]

Thank you, I will follow some posts for a while to get the gist of things. Don't want to hurt anyone. 

Really going through a fase I never would have thought possible for.myself..

Um O.k thanks 

[PlantLover]

That's incredible @Lenavampyre. I hope you are feeling really proud. I've never struggled with substance addiction, but have other issues I can relate. For example I suffered from anorexia nervosa which is a sort of addiction.

I was the same 6 years ago. I couldn't leave the house to walk my dog, couldn't go to the supermarket. I was scared of running into my abuser, which happened regularly. I made the decision to move away and start fresh. I moved from Victoria to Queensland. I feel safe here. I can leave the house without going into panic attacks and melt downs. Moving was the biggest help for me in regards to being able to leave the house. 
I also love decorating the house, my love at the moment is plants. For inside and outside. 
Did you have someone to drive you home after the appointment? 

[Lenavampyre]

Thank you. No , I lost my best friend, my car a few years ago.

I couldn't drive it anymore, everyone could see me. I couldn't even do Windows, people could see.

I have just been accepted at ndis. 

Waiting for help to get places. 

I was going to move to get further away from my attacker, hope it's ok to mention that. Any way. It was better I stay here. It's o.k. I feel safe.

Glad you decorate home. Like, make it yours. Nice.