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Jessicap22
Casual Contributor

Hi everyone:)

Hi, my name is Jessica. I'm brand new to the forums but have known about Sane for a while. I just thought it would be worth joining as I have quite a complex long history of mental health problems and I'm really sick of dealing with everything it has been a tough road for me I've seen hospital soo many times it is not funny. Just after high-school in my teenage years I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder and anxiety after being bullied in high-school. I also started to self harm during this time. I saw a psychiatrist and they admitted me to the an adolescent mental health ward. I was there some time and sadly this was the beginning of a longggggg journey for me. 

By the time I was in my late teens I had also developed an eating disorder I rapidly lost weight and almost got admitted to a hospital again. Another psychiatrist also diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder during this time. From here the journey has just never gotten better I have seen probably more than 30 professionals over the years when it comes to one on one treatment from counsellors to alternative healing practitioners. 

By my mid 20's I had been to hospital a number of times. I attempted to take my life at one point by and I was hospitalised and thankfully recovered. 

I've had an eating disorder a very long time and this almost took my life in 2013 where I was admitted to hospital given 2 weeks to live from severe anorexia and bulimia. I was released from hospital once I gained enough wait but the follow up was soo poor it was unbelievable and I've relapsed a number of times since. 

From my teenage years till now the diagnosis's for me have gotten worse as different psych's have diagnosed me and I've at times been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, psychosis and schizo-type by some professionals over the years I personally believe these diagnosis's are wrong and I'm currently taking up the public mental health system about this they are refusing to listen to me. 

 

I've been on soo many medications over the years. The only medication I've only ever voluntarily accepted one medication all others have been given to me against my will I've been on involuntary treatment orders with the public mental health system a number of times and they were the ones that have medicated me against my will including currently whereby I am being injected with with a medication against my will by the public system.

For me I'm really sad overall I think if I'd had stable and good support all these years I'd be recovered from much of my problems but everything has just been so very inconsistent for me and diagnosis's being thrown around left, right and centre. 

Personally when it comes to me diagnosing myself I believe that yes I have an eating disorder and I also believe I suffer from low mood at times, anxiety and post traumatic stress. If I could diagnose myself this is what I would diagnose.


I'm currently at my wit's end as my eating disorder re-erupted about 6 days ago now I've pretty much cut out all food except coffee and I don't know what to do. Other than the eating disorder I've been struggling with kind of a low mood for a few weeks now I was doing fine for about half a year prior to this new onset of things that has come from nowhere. I'm also suffering from side effects from the medication I'm on I don't want to be on it it makes me really tired and has made me lose interest in life in alot of ways but I'm stuck on it the public mental health system won't take me off it no matter what I say. I've spoken with legal aid and have a lawyer phoning me this week as I feel I'm being unfairly treated. I feel that I've been institutionalised too much personally it'd be nice to one day have proper support in my life. I'm a Christian and go to church weekly and have been praying soo much to God about everything.


Anyhow lovely to meet everyone. Most people that meet me wouldn't even believe this history if they saw me as I appear as a very normal person and it's only when I have visual signs of something wrong with the eating disorder that people ever even suspect something isn't right with me. 

 

I wish I wasn't so along with all of this I want full recovery from everything soo bad and I also feel I need recovery now from the institutionalisation I've had it has been very traumatic for me overall having been admitted to hospital quite a number of times now. 

Jess. 

 

11 REPLIES 11
Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Hi everyone:)

Hey @Jessicap22 , welcome to the forums. It's very brave and courageous for you to join and share your story, so good on you, well done. I'm proud of you for still being here, and I'm really sorry that you're struggling with so much. I was about to say you should definitely complain about how you've been treated because that stuff should never happen to anyone, but you said you're dealing with a lawyer, so that's good. I hope that goes ok for you, in your favour.

 

I also have PTSD, so I can understand that, aswell as Depression, etc. In terms of the eating disorder, I believe you can get a plan like a MHCP for eating disorders too, you'd have to look that up because I'm not 100% sure on how it works, so my apologies there.

 

I'm sorry I can't offer you any advice and say much more, but please know that I still care and I'm always here for you as much as I can be, and that this is a safe, friendly, non judgemental place, and everything is moderated. We're all here for you and we all understand. I applaud you for coming here and sharing what you're going through, that in itself is a big step.

 

Please stay safe and take care.

Re: Hi everyone:)

Yeah I felt like it was a HUGE step coming here. Thanks so much for your kind message it's funny you mention a mental health plan someone suggested that this week to see my Dr and see if I can find my own support like a psychologist or someone and someone else also suggested this would be a good idea aswell as if I see my own psych for example then I can build a profile etc with them one which is reliable....to elaborate a bit I have seen 14 different psychiatrists now through the public system in the last 12 months they keep changing them on rotation it's no wonder I'm having so much trouble getting off these meds I have no stable support system they just keep changing them and I have to start all over again this was actually part of my reason for trying to get legal help aswell it's ridiculous I'm just being passed around with no stable follow up still.

Anyhow thank you again for your message I'm really stuck on what to do this week regarding my complaints against the public mental health system and where/who to take that to and also yeah feeling I need proper support I hope I can find the right support very soon.

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Hi everyone:)

That's ridiculous, I'm really sorry to hear you're going through a lot. I wish I could help you more.

And just a friendly reminder to use the @ button and tag a user so they can see the replies so you don't get ignored xx

Re: Hi everyone:)

Thanks for listening it is absolutely ridiculous alright oh ok not sure how to use the @ button do I just type the person's name then @ after? Thanks again. I am desperately trying to think of numbers I can call about this it's causing me alot of stress.
Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Hi everyone:)

Of course, I'm always here. Yes it is ridiculous, I'm really sorry so many bad things are happening to you. No one deserves it, you or anybody.

Yes you do or if it comes up, just click on it.

 

Have you tried any helplines, such as Lifeline? @Jessicap22 

Re: Hi everyone:)

@Former-Member No haven't tried lifeline do you think it's worth phoning them just to say what's going on re the public mental health system or to talk about my own problems or both? I could give them a try didn't think of that I have phoned them in the past just for some extra support and they were wonderful. 

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Hi everyone:)

It's up to you, I hope others here can help also, I'm sorry I don't have much advice for you 😔 @Jessicap22 

Re: Hi everyone:)

@Jessicap22 thanks for sharing your story, it looks like has been a long road for you up to now. I too went through the trauma from been bullied, I think it all started about second grade at school  for me, I was the only kid that had red at my school. It started with just name calling and then it become physical abuse through gangs bashing me as I got older, it taunted me for about 38 years. Until I did a 20 week depression and Anxiety program about 6 months ago, which cover exercise, diet, sleep, mindfulness, CBT, been thankful, but the most life changing part of program was forgiveness. Now I wasn't real keen about  the idea of forgiving all the people that have give such grief for years at first, I thought at first F##k them I'm  not going to forgive them assholes they can go to hell, but the guys running the program encouraged me the follow through this part program and you would believe it was like a massive weight was lifting off my shoulders, it was hard explain I am such a different person today, as I said it was life changing. Now the thing Jessicap22 you forgive not forgot, you only allow yourself to forgive that person for what they did to you. Look it up on google or ask a therapist about forgiveness therapy and give it a go, I believe in the power of forgiveness. Best of luck.

Warm Regards

Haysatcks

Re: Hi everyone:)

Hi @Jessicap22 

Welcome to the SANE forums.

I hope you find the support you are looking for here.

It certainly is tricky having a mental illness and trying to navigate the system. I can relate to that alot, also being in and out of hospital.

 

Plese feel free to reach out. You deserve the support.

Snowie xoxo

 

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