Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[eskimos]

Thanks, I will try to pop in. 

However, I have found that the best way to support my former partner is to ..... split and leave her to live her own life. I reckon if she was able to "cheat" two psychiatrists, and 3 psychologists and forced our GP to drop the idea of her problems and listen only to her, it was too much for all of the family members.

So an interesting idea but it is working! She is an independent woman, can provide for herself very well and we suffer a bit (which means kids and me) but she can not see this, narcissistic part plays well here too.  

Anyway, see you at the live discussion.

[eskimos]

I had a look at that topic. And on the thing that struck me deeply is how man-loving BPD partners have kids together and live. This is all good and beautiful, and heartwarming. 

However, there is a lot of collateral damage to yourself and even more to your kids, as some of you mentioned a lack of connection with mum, hate, and anger.

I can only say from my experience which I expressed here that mental health problems have very broad implications but what they could do to your children is underestimated.

You can not see it until is nearly too late like in my case when my son injured himself. One thing is missing the BDP person is very good at hiding and keeping everything secret. I loved my wife so much and tried in my opinion everything until I simply could no more. It cost me health problems, it cost my wife self-destructive problems (like developing chronic couch and self-inflected carpal tunnel syndrome), and cost my son two broken knees, and malnutrition due to stress with eating delicious mum very tin soups with did not provide enough energy. I am just saying love is a wonderful thing, I am catholic and I had a great moral problem breaking my vows, but my survival instinct finally was triggered and I did it. As I wrote everybody recovering well, and life goes on. But my kids will struggle for many years to come but I hope they will learn. However it is a different story is too late and  I never probably will trust myself with this clear judgment of a healthy relationship, I simply lost it. Once again I recommend the book: 

Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life.

Bless you, all strong people who care about BPD loved ones. It is a monumental task.