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06-07-2021 05:46 PM
06-07-2021 05:46 PM
Agoraphobia?
Hi all,
Only just googled this because it's been an on-and-off thing for me, not sure if agoraphobia is it but seems to fit...
I feel like I've been doing quite a lot of positive things lately, focusing on eating better and doing short body scan meditations in the morning, not really feeling any more anxiety than usual (although I would say the base level is pretty much moderate and constant) BUT I'm just not "able" to leave the house? At all.
Also haven't felt able to respond to emails/contact people over the phone...it's just like an absolute "block" so have been avoiding it which is really frustrating because I'd like to communicate (and just be able to food shop) but yeah it's really just like an absolute sense of terror or like hitting a wall in terms of telling myself I'll do something but then just giving up and staying inside.
Not sure if anyone would have any tips or experience about how to make the push to leave my "safe zone", it's not like I thing something bad will happen once I'm out, it's just that getting there just doesn't seem to happen.
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06-07-2021 06:11 PM
06-07-2021 06:11 PM
Re: Agoraphobia?
hello and welcome @tilly22
i will tag @NatureLover
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06-07-2021 06:46 PM
06-07-2021 06:46 PM
Re: Agoraphobia?
Hi and welcome, @tilly22 🙂
I've been diagnosed with Agoraphobia. I don't have it severely, so I can leave the house, but can't go too far or stay out too long.
Can I ask if you have depression as well? Just because of the not wanting to communicate thing...
Can I also ask if you're in an area which has been locked down much? (Don't tell me the area, cos of the anonymity rules) The reason I ask is that sometimes lockdown can affect people in the way you described, not wanting to leave the house. That's what my psychologist told me.
For me, my fear in leaving the house is that something bad will happen while I'm out. So it's interesting that you don't have that fear.
But your sense of terror is interesting. Of course, we're not permitted to diagnose people here, as we're not doctors...do you have a trusted GP or counsellor that you could mention this to?
As for strategies to help with leaving the house...my psychologist reckons it's one of those things that improves with stretching yourself (a bit like Exposure Therapy). So for instance, choose a time of day you would be most likely to be able to face the supermarket, and psych yourself up (even if it takes a few days, or a few goes), and go food shopping for a few items (maybe with someone else, if that's easier), then reward yourself.
If this is not possible, then choose something easier...walking to the letterbox daily. Then after a week of that, walk down the street a little way, increasing it each time. Or drive a little way, if you prefer, increasing it slowly. Etc etc.
But I would definitely be talking to a GP or psychologist about it, as soon as you can, if I were you.
I'm happy to talk more with you about it too, as I don't know many other people with agoraphobia type feelings. 🙂
And thanks @Shaz51 for tagging me!
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06-07-2021 07:20 PM
06-07-2021 07:20 PM
Re: Agoraphobia?
Hi @NatureLover
I'm not sure about depression to be honest - I have quite a lot of "things" that I haven't been seen for or had diagnosed (I definetly have anxiety, OCD and disordered eating but it's not something I've seen someone about) but I have been on antidepressants previously and not had a good response to them (can't absolutely say if it's related but I'd get a sort of anxious borderline angry high energy) so I've put them in the category of a kind of medication I'm not happy to try again.
(I do have a bipolar diagnosis though, so I have been on medication for that before, but not currently.)
I'm not currently in lockdown but I would still describe it as being " a lot", I suppose.
Seeing my GP next week for a mental health plan (to assess me for ASD) so I'll mention it - and it has happened before, following a panic attack when I was basically that bad that I couldn't even leave to go to the pharmacy to get the meds that were supposed to help me leave the house *sigh*
I've heard that after panic attacks you can get a subconscious fear of being outside/alone in case it happens again, so I guess maybe that's it but as far as I can tell it's more just a physical response - I just get cold hands and a rapid heart beat even thinking about leaving my "safe zone" (my house), weirdly I'm theoretically fine being in other "safe zones" though...
So for example, I didn't make it outside today so had to order in (which I don't like to do too much because I don't have that much money) but if I had a friend to visit (my last friend moved abroad) I'm pretty confident I'd be fine to uber to their house...it's just sort of the vast inbetween safe zones that I struggle with.
Also in between therapists but I'm hoping the ASD assessment will maybe look at other things going on and suggest things that could help even if it's a co-morbidity.
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06-07-2021 10:55 PM - edited 06-07-2021 10:58 PM
06-07-2021 10:55 PM - edited 06-07-2021 10:58 PM
Re: Agoraphobia?
Hey @tilly22 tilly22
I've been living with varying degrees of agoraphobia since 1989. Fundamentally, when you strike that 'invisible threshold' that you can't cross over to leave the house, it's about a loss of confidence and security in your own capacity to deal with the sensations. Your body has learned to bluff you, then your mind joins in with the 'fear thoughts' and before you know it, the sun is setting and you're down on yourself for another wasted day, and being chicken-s..t, and (insert your favourite self-criticism)....
Hypervigiliance is the mind-fck. Essentially, you need to learn how to talk yourself down off the ledge and develop strategies to ground yourself. Controlling your breathing is key. You enter a completely new relationship with your body and it is deeply unpleasant when in the grips of a panic attack and surrendering - saying "Bring it! Do your worst! I gotta be somewhere in 20 minutes!' is one way of calling it's bluff.
Your 'safe zones' shift - like sand bars - which can get a bit tricksy. Recovery isn't linear.
I highly recommend Peter Levine's books "Waking the Tiger" and "In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body releases Trauma and restores Goodness". He's done a few videos that you find on youTube and Facebook.
Art therapies are very effective for unfolding the origins of panic-anxiety that is intruding on your life and impacting on functionality; has you on the ropes.
When it comes to food : contact agencies such as Vinnies or your local council might have a crisis food cupboard and organise for hampers to be delivered as part of a contingency strategy.
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07-07-2021 12:55 AM - edited 07-07-2021 12:56 AM
07-07-2021 12:55 AM - edited 07-07-2021 12:56 AM
Re: Agoraphobia?
Just for fun, I did a search on TROVE for "agoraphobia" and this was published on
21 March 1907...in The Evening News (Sydney)
* * *
I can definitely vouch for the experience of my fear vanishing when I am seriously PO'd.
Dark quirky humour is one of my coping mechanisms. I read recently that it's an early symptom of dementia. I look forward to forgetting I'm agoraphobic.
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07-07-2021 01:37 AM
07-07-2021 01:37 AM
Re: Agoraphobia?
Still futzing about on TROVE.....a golden oldie is Dr Claire Weeke's with very simple advice that is often the best.
This is from a Women's Weekly issue on 20 July 1977
All agoraphobics agree on one thing: their treatment is complicated by a catch more cruel than Catch 22. To get treatment they have to go out. Before they can go out, they have to have treatment.
"Psychiatrists say, 'Come up and see me' more times than Mae West." says Margaret.
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07-07-2021 02:32 AM
07-07-2021 02:32 AM
Re: Agoraphobia?
Visualization is also helpful with overcoming panic attacks.
The visualization offered in this article from 1914 is PRICELESS! It also comes from a paper that my grandmother and Scots great-grandmother would have read in their time....
* * *
Swing away, you crazy diamonds!!
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07-07-2021 07:45 AM
07-07-2021 07:45 AM
Re: Agoraphobia?
Hi @tilly22 , that's interesting that you have OCD - what form does it take? I have it too - germophobia.
I'm glad you'll be talking to your GP about being too scared to leave the house. It would be good if you could see a therapist about it too. Good luck... 🙂
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07-07-2021 09:09 AM
07-07-2021 09:09 AM
Re: Agoraphobia?
Hi @NatureLover
On the compulsive side I have obsessive compulsive spartanism, so like the opposite of a hoarder- I can't hold onto things (clothes, furniture, smalls items like pens, books, emails, even things given to me by passed family members) or obtain them to begin with (like gloves if it's cold..anything deemed "not essential") and on the obsessive side, which fuels it, I have an obsession with things being "perfect".
I do still buy things (hoping they'll be perfect), but sooner or later always decide to give it to charity because something's "wrong"- like a book might have a scratch on it or maybe I've decided it's not the right kind in some other way.
Basically, if I'm in my room, from when I wake up it's a constant looking at things and going "isitperfect????" on repeat in my head...sometimes I'm able to keep things as "markers"- so this isn't the perfect pen but it's ok because it's filling the spot of a future exactly perfect pen haha
I also have food based OCD, so similar to the fear of leaving the house, the severity fluctuates but there are things I will or won't be able to eat depending on whether they're "safe foods"- I've had various forms of EDs throughout the years, I think last I spoke to someone they called it Avoidant Restrictive but I would definitely say it's OCD or anxiety related, nothing to do with body perception or restricting any specific food group- it's very similar to the agoraphobia in that if it's really bad I will not feel able to have an apple or plain water but if I'm in a safe zone of eating with someone else I can and will have anything (I like).
I wouldn't have called it OCD before because it's not a fear of something happening if I don't do certain things- pretty sure I can trace the "perfectionism" to childhood trauma so I don't think it's ever been about avoiding something bad happening, it's more something I can "control" (but not really obviously) if I'm already anxious.