Misunderstood & Alone

[avant-garde]

Apparently I've been a member for 7.5 years... but never posted...

I've had a complicated forum history... but who knows... maybe this will help...

I feel alone in the world and it wouldn't be far from the truth...

There is so much I am dealing with right now that I struggle not to break into tears at the sheer concept of it all...

This last week has been a nightmare of it's own sort... a nightmare with glimmers of hope... but predominantly a nightmare... that's beside the point though...

• Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
• Seizures of an unknown origin (suspected as functional/dissociative)
• Abuser within the church I am a member of
• Low iron levels
• Psychologist that says my trauma is too complex for her to treat effectively
• Christmas
• Been homeless for the greater part of this year
• Remaining invisible from my family
• Ear infection
• Hearing aids
• Trauma induced neurodivergency
• Police needing more information (in the new year now)
• Needing more support but not finding it when I need it

I wish people could understand...

AG

[MJG017]

Hi @avant-garde.  I'd say welcome to the forum, but it seems like you've been here far longer than I have.  I hope it helps you to finally post your thoughts and you can feel less alone and more heard and understood.

Clearly you are dealing with so much and I can understand how exhausting it must be, but reaching out here not to mention doing it after dealing with so much for so long speaks volumes of your strength and resilience... even though you may not see it, it's there.

I do have my own experiences these past few years in having multiple physical health issues, some extremely serious, just adding on to a life time of mental health challenges and it is certainly easy to feel overwhelmed and like it's just too much at times.  Especially with little to no family support.  We all deserve that support and understanding.  I found a lot of that here since joining earlier this year and I really hope you find that as well, because it's helped me so much.

So I hope you can feel less alone here and that you can continue to see those glimmers of hope.  Sometimes even just those glimmers can get us through the darkest of times.  We're here to listen and support you if we can.