Lived Experience Forum

[Lindsay]

My last quick question to the group is what others find works in their relationships and helps them to improve and maintain the quality of these?

[Shaz51]

oh no !! I missed out tonight , sorry everyone -- tomorrow I will have to read all your comments , I was realy interested to see what was said tonight , good night everyone -- two meetings tomorrow , going to be a big day , not working tomorrow

[Mazarita]

@chookmojo I can understand that. I have often tried to put on a mask based on observations of how other people seem to behave but there seems to be something a bit 'out' about my way of interracting with others. It's been this way since childhood, always been a bit 'odd'. I'm lucky to have made some friends along the way despite this but I still get nervous about interractions, sometimes even struggle with involuntary tears when people talk to me, sometimes even people close to me.

[Former-Member]

Just for brevity 

What has worked well for me has be running away lol

LJ

[Lindsay]

It has been an absolute pleasure speaking with you all tonight!! What has struck me is how intelligent, motivated and insightful you all are. I want to say that relationships are tricky. Even for us therapists. It is something that we need to constantly keep working at. But I think that is because they are worth it. You all have so much insight into the relationships that you share with others and how to constantly improve on this.

Again it has been a pleasure speaking you tonight!

Warm regards

Lindsay

[Mazarita]

Thanks so much for being with us @Lindsay and leading an interesting discussion. Best wishes!

[chookmojo]

What works: communication, open and honest. Take responsibility for your own side of things. Boundaries! Willing to admit you are wrong.  Compromise.  

[Lindsay]

I just quickly wanted to respond to an email question we received eariler:

"I am engaged to my partner who has a diagnosis of Borderline personality Disorder .. I need help to cope .. Currently she has "ran away " again.. This happens regularly .. The cycle repeats itself . I know her behaviour is manipulative .. But I am feeling so defeated I feel like I allow it to continue .. I love her very much .. What can I do to protect my own sanity ."

It sounds like you've been doing it tough with your partner. I think the fact that you have remained together throughout these devastating cycles speaks to both of your strengths. I think the most important thing is how to make the relationship sustainable into the future (because clearly you both matter to each other!). That might be by figuring out some boundaries together (i.e. what behaviours you can and can't tolerate and what to do when these lines are crossed). Also, I think it is important to find ways to take care of yourself (i.e. doing the things that you enjoy and that give you pleasure).

[Jacques]

Thank you @Lindsay, it has been nice talking to you, thank you too @NikNik for our special guest.

Thank you all for an insightful evening, it has helped me greatly