Lived Experience Forum

[Jumpingcactus]

@Robert_Lifeline When you’ve suffered for years you’d think it would be easy to get rid of anxiety or depression, you learn the triggers, you learn what helps etc, just wish could learn to get rid of it, never leaves you, all the while your looking at people around you living  healthy clear thinking rational lives. 

[Robert_Lifeline]

I'm wondering if we always need to give our families an excuse for leaving the scene to have alone / 'me' time? Some simple messaging around this stuff might help you feel more prepared, secure etc.? 

[BlueBay]

Omg I totally relate to this @Jumpingcactus

it seems to get harder as the years go by @Robert_Lifeline

[Jumpingcactus]

@BlueBay Agree, I sympathise with you. 

[nashy]

Getting so much insight from all of you and of course our friend @Robert_Lifeline 🙂

Next Question! In addition to self-care distractions…

What are some other ways you can exercise self-compassion during this time of year?

[BlueBay]

@nashy I have zero self love snd compassion towards myself. 😢

especially st the moment. 

[Razzle]

@nashy Thanks.  I do know alcohol isn’t the answer, but the whole day and the lead up to it is so exhausting, overwhelming and painful, it’s the only escape I have.  Like everyone else, I have to wear the stupid “everything’s fine” mask when I’d rather be anywhere than at a Xmas gathering.

After we lost our son, all invites to Xmas parties stopped, I haven’t been to a party in 12 years, I’m excluded among my community, friends and sadly by

my immediate family.  The accident wasn’t even our fault, it was caused by the other driver.

[Robert_Lifeline]

@BlueBay

PLease know that Lifeline is always there for that voice on the other end of the line. I would like to also let everyone know that if you phone the 13 11 14 service and you find that the crisis supporter is not helpful, it is totally OK to exercise your boundaries and self-care and end the call and 'try again' - not ideal I know but it is the reality of a service with 41 centres around the country that we are not always what you expect in terms of consistency..

[Jumpingcactus]

@Robert_Lifeline I give excuses because I’m embarrassed to disclose that I don’t feel right. I act all normal but in reality I feel I should be going to the hospital to get them to check my heart is working ok from the stress of it all. You look ok on the outside, but dying on the inside.

[Robert_Lifeline]

@nashy

Just some ideas to start this discussion off..

Love yourself first. This is not about selfishness in a negative sense but about knowing that unless your own cup is filled first, you cannot fill another’s (‘You can’t pour from an empty cup’). Setting boundaries – even with family members – is part of valuing yourself and your health in this way. Sometimes, knowing what is ‘mine’ and what is ‘the other’s’ in terms of emotional stuff can help with setting boundaries. Saying ‘no’ and not justifying yourself. Knowing your limits. Respecting yourself: What am I willing/OK to do and what am I not OK with?