Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[outlander]

lovely @Shaz51

[outlander]

your so brave @CheerBear im proud of you

[outlander]

hey @Determined 👋

[Lauz]

So to investigate this area of supportive discussions a bit further what are some of the do’s and don’ts when trying to offer your support to someone you care about?

For instance, do ask them about their feelings and listen, don’t tell them how they should be feeling. Some we have had so far are do sit with them and let them know you are thinking of them, don't put pressure on someone to share.

What are some other myths or tips that can be useful to be aware of? 

[Lauz]

@Louis41 @Kelly69 @Mum-meh - just checking in as I know this was your first time posting tonight, really great if you are still reading along but do feel free to post in. I know it can go a bit quickly sometimes though! There is no pressure to share, but if you feel like it let us know if you have you found that certain things have worked when trying to have conversations with your loved ones about what is going on for them? 

[Former-Member]

One difference with Mr Darcy vs other family is I don't feel I need I need to advocate or intervene for them rather just treat them with kindness. Think I would find boundaries difficult if I lived close to them. 

[Louis41]

Thank you.  My daughter isolates from friends and family so having conversations can be difficult.

[Georgie_Girl]

It really depends on the situation at hand.

 Hubby is a ranter - he gets on a topic and can rant for hours and gets so worked up.

I listen, and gently try and sway his rant into another topic.

If that fails, I just listen and contribute to his conversation in the best way I can

its hard work sometimes 

[Shaz51]

@Lauz @

Don't push them to talk 

With me watching the warning signs when we need to take the afternoon off for my Mr shaz 

Suggesting little solutions and then saying no more 

[Lauz]

Yes I can imagine @Georgie_Girl - those moments can take patience. A key theme of supporting someone as we have spoken so far tonight is listening. Listening can seem so simple but it can be quite a skill to develop to actively listen and understand ways to then reflect what you have heard to help validate for instance or help redirect to healthy areas. @outlander you mentioned active listening as well.

Does anyone have any thoughts on ways to listen? Do others feel that listening can be really helpful to be able to connect with their loved ones? @Louis41 that must be so hard to have your daughter isolate herself - perhaps as @Former-Member mentioned just continuning to let her know you are there and happy to listen, even via text could be helpful?