Something’s not right
01-06-2019 09:51 PM
how do you guys manage burnout?
i am very much burntout but im not able to change anything thats happening right now so im not all that sure how to manage it.
i know a few one my signs and they are all very prominent atm like being irritable and literally wanting nothing more then to be away from home, everyone and esp my caree. i cant help but feel upset with myself that im getting frustrated at my situation and guilty that right now i want to walk away from being relied up, and dealing with the deteroration of dementia.
what do you guys do to help with these things?
@Shaz51 @Smc @Darcy @greenpea @Appleblossom @PeppiPatty @Faith-and-Hope @MumOfAnAnorexic @Determined @Former-Member @Ali11 @Sophie1 @Sophia1 @Janiee @Dec @Tufftimes and of course everyone who reads this
01-06-2019 10:08 PM
Self care @outlander ....
Earphones and music
Paint your nails
Call a friend, talk about anything else
Go for a drive
Watch a movie
Go for a walk
Sit outside with a cup of tea
Take your caree and go visiting, or to a coffee shop (other people around)
Dig in the garden
Can’t stay just now @outlander ..... working on an assignment and was taking a break.
01-06-2019 10:15 PM
sorry to hear you are burned out - I can really empathise .. when I was burnt out there was a couple of saving graces that got me through - however the main one was to think of something you value or enjoy or is self care for you - like reading a favourite book or having a massage or going for a walk alone - and the trick was to make sure you got some of that activity in during your day even if it’s only for a very short time - so 3 minutes of reading is better than none - one walk around the oval is better than none - a 15 min neck and shoulders massage at the plaza is better than none - fully concentrate and be present in that self care time - for me that was every Friday night was my night to watch tv as late as I wanted and whatever I wanted ... sometimes it was reading 5 pages of a favourite book each day - or going to the plaza and walking around to feel normal and free - I think the point is that I used to not do anything for myself thinking because I couldn’t a one hour I’d do nothing or because I couldn’t spend an hour reading I’d read nothing - doing just a little bit of something that you value just for you is incredibly powerful and soooo important - you must care for yourself as life is too short and you are important and must keep your ‘I enjoy living’ battery charged up ... hope this makes sense ... just a few moments of concentrated me time can change the experience of an entire day
01-06-2019 10:37 PM
I love you "I enjoy living battery" @Sophie1 I think may use it in conversation.
@outlander Distraction and rest are both important, but I am wondering if you are over involved and stretching yourself more than you need?. How do we know? For me its an ever present and ongoing process.
Its a very blurry line ...
That your pop came home late was worrying, but it is also a good sign that he got out, and managed himself enough to get home too.
Micro-managing does not always help or is the biggest sign of love. So talking about the levels of care with others who know him may help.
A lot depends on how serious his dementia is, and which particular things are a worry.
As a young carer, it is really important to know
1) it is your home and your needs matter too.
2) some of his deterioration is unavoidable and its not all up to you.
Take Care of you and Hugs
01-06-2019 11:00 PM
perhaps i am abit stretched but i only really feel stretched around pop, or the horse club (this was suppose to be a fun thing where i get to watch but everytime i go i have to help with something) or kids- maybe its the pressure from those that is causing burnout. When im on the forums (even if it does get tireing i know when i need a break/step back to regroup) or when im around some of the other workers at my other job i dont really feel worn out. im tired but a different sort of tired-like a normal tired. i am still learning though that everything i do contributes to how i feel whether im enjoying myself or wearing myself down- it is the blurry line sometimes hey.
i know his deteroration isnt anyones fault and he gets frustrated too but he takes it out on me. he only had early onset fortunatly but its enough to be draining- just yesterday he told me the same thing more then 10 times. i lost count after the 10th one. he really only got back home because i rang him up and i also got his friend to put the address into his navigator so he wouldnt get lost. tonight he had a shower and he was fine but when he got out i think he thought he was getting back in cause he left the shower on full pelt (my bathroom got flooded) nd didnt think much of it. he left the stove top on the other day with a piece of bread on it trying to toast it. but he walked away and went into his room cause he forgot what he was doing. he skips his medications if im not home or i have to ring if i leave before he has them and mixes the days that he takes them.
its hard not to treat him like hes incompetent but hes quickly becoming that way.
i think after the coming weeks i wont be taking on any more holiday style care for the animals. ill do the coming weeks as ive committed to those but i think you may be right in that ive over committed. i dont want to quit the other job i have cause i like the people i work with and is abit refreshing sometimes.
02-06-2019 05:48 AM
@outlander Awww outlander I am not good to ask with this as I tend to do very destructive things like take risks as in risky behaviour ..... which I won't go into as I don't want to set you off in case you are feeling that way. I just hope that someone can give you calming ideas on how to cope and not self destructive ones which are the ones which I would offer which are not good for our outlander. Take good care of yourself love greenpea xxxxx
02-06-2019 08:46 AM
We're sorry to hear that you are feeling burnt out @outlander. This is a great question to ask. It typically happens when you are stretching yourself too thinly and often neglect your own needs - i.e burning the candle at both ends. @Sophie1 puts it beautifully when describing yourself as a battery, you need to make sure that there's time for you in each day so that you can recharge your battery (otherwise it will go flat). It doesn't have to be anything extravagant, it can mean taking a nap because you need to, sitting outside drinking tea/coffee by yourself, enjoying a hobby etc.
Are you able to set aside an hour a day to "recharge"?
02-06-2019 10:15 AM
Boundaries necessary too @outlander , when hobbies become a chore it can indicate one has taken on too much.
I think at times as carers we take on responsibilities that are not ours to shoulder.