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allivegot
Casual Contributor

Tired obsession and Infinite loop, and suicidal thoughts

I have bipolar/schizoeffective disorder (diagnosed with both so not sure which one it is). I have a problem where I get stuck in looped thinking about being tired. It’s like a psychological splinter. I obsess over being tired, over and over again. Mostly this occurs at the end of the day. It’s a constant feeling that I’m tired and going to yawn. “I’m tired I’m tired I’m tired I’m tired I’m tired...” plays over and over in my head. This all started when I stopped taking my anti-psychotic medication. When I restarted the looped thinking remained. 

 

I havent read read about anybody else with this problem, and I’m now desperate to know what I can do about it. It’s made me extremely depressed because every day for a few hours (sometimes the looped thinking occurs during the day too) I’m starkly reminded that my brain isn’t functioning properly. I then get suicidal and have made plans how I’d end my life. I don’t see how I can keep on going if the problem continues, as extreme as it sounds.

 

Even though everybody gets tired, sure, no big deal, it is a big deal for me. It’s so draining and debilitating to have to put up with looping and intrusive thoughts that I can’t stop, even using OCD treatment methods. 

 

I think what ive got is more than OCD. Especially because I yawn a lot (sometimes 30 yawns in a short period). I believe my brain chemistry has changed and now I’m stuck with looping thoughts. I had really bad looping thoughts when I was psychotic.

 

I hope somebody here has insight or advice for me. Running out of options, tried different types of anti psychotics and mood stabilisers.

 

Thanks.

4 REPLIES 4

Re: Tired obsession and Infinite loop, and suicidal thoughts

Hi @allivegot

I don't really know anything about your mental illnesses,  sorry. 

But I'm wondering when you went back onto your anti psychotics.  If recently,  it might take a few more weeks or so for the medication to be able to stop your looped thoughts. 

Are you able to hold on for a few more weeks? 

Re: Tired obsession and Infinite loop, and suicidal thoughts

Sorry I forgot to mention that it’s been about 4-5 weeks since I started back on the anti psychotic medication. Hence it should have kicked in by now. I have also tried a higher dosage also but still the same looped thoughts.

Re: Tired obsession and Infinite loop, and suicidal thoughts

Time to talk to your psychiatrist @allivegot? Maybe? 

And because you went off and then back on the meds,  they may take longer to work this time. 

Re: Tired obsession and Infinite loop, and suicidal thoughts

You may be right it may take more time but I usually felt the effects quite quickly in the past with the antipsychotic i’ve been taking (usually the same day I started to feel it working). Might take a bit longer to feel the full effects. 

 

Ive mentioned the problem to my psychiatrist but didn’t get any treatment advice. Seeing her again soon, so will mention it again. However, it’s concerning that my psychiatrist hasn’t mentioned any specific ways of improving my symptoms.

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