Lived Experience Forum

[LJE]

Thanks @Owlunar - your stories are really comforting! Your maternity wear sounds really practical and lovely... my mum doesn't seem to think I'll need much until quite late (Sept/Oct with bub due mid-Nov). I think the plan is to have me in leggings and oversized jumpers through winter - particularly if we still can't go anywhere! Then maybe just some simple cotton dresses until it's time. I'm totally out of my depth with all this... I can design and run huge architectural projects with no worries but having a baby seems terrifying. Haha

I did my NIPT test this morning just after 7am so now we just nervously wait 😊 

Hope you're coping OK and that you have a wonderful day 😊 xx

[Owlunar]

Hi @LJE 

Every carries differently and fashions have changed - -  but through winter and early spring leggings and oversize jumpers sounds comfortable and see how spring goes - you can get some oversize or men's shirts over your leggings then - 

Mu daughter was born in early autumn - she was a month early but a good size - the weather that summer had been really hot and humid but we had a change and I bought my only real maternity dress in a warm fabric - but I only wore it a couple of times before I gave birth

I am glad the maternity fashions are so much easier now and prettier - my mother made sure I was looking and feeling okay in the shifts she made but I remember her smocks when she was having my sister - appalling - I never wanted to look like that

My grand-sons' wives had an interesting collection of clothes when they were expecting - and always looked pretty good - it seems the fashion business is really into making clothes fun for expectant mums -- which is so good

Dec

[LJE]

So true, @Owlunar - i remember looking back at photos of my mum and the difference between then and now is huge in terms of fashion! I think the other thing that is important is that you're only in those clothes for such a short time!! Seems like a waste of money to go all-out with expensive clothes!! 

[Owlunar]

Nowday yes @LJE  - many people only have one or two and space them out

My son was adopted - quite the culture shock - and I was blessed and surprised to fall pregnant naturally after all the previous drama - but she is the rose of my life - 

My mother had my brother a year after me - so I guess two winters in a row in maternity clothes was worth it but it was also during WW2 when clothing was rationed - things must have been really hard - and it was some years before my sister was born - those smocks were just plain horrible - and I just had a thought that she might have saved them from when she was pregnant - never mind - those smocks were what women wore and it seems degrading to me now but everything was in short supply then

My great-grandmothers though - all my grandparents came from huge familes - 8 or 9 - 10 - 11 kids - my mind boggles - where did they keep them all - perhaps they had to share beds or stagger what time people could sleep. Back then women must have lived in maternity clothes 

I'm glad women can enjoy their wardrobe now - and I think they have clothes that can be worn after the birth - certainly it takes a little time to get back in shape - even if we are tall and thin - but I agree - it's better to get a few things from Target or somewhere like that and wash them often then get one really fashionable item to dress up in - and enjoy it

It is an exciting time of life

Dec

[CheerBear]

Hiya @LJE. Me again 😉. Cool profile pic!

Just checking in to see how things have been going for you. Never a need or any pressure to reply but interested in hearing if you'd like to share. Hope all three of you are doing well ❤🌈

[LJE]

Hi @CheerBear, thank you! And I was just thinking about all of you yesterday and wondering how you were?? It was on my list to post something this week but we are in the middle of (very stressfully) trying to buy our first house in the middle of Covid when no-one wants to lend so.... yay! Haha.

All 3 of us ARE doing well... I'm 15 weeks today with a baby girl (I can't remember if I mentioned that!!). All NIPT tests, 13 week anatomy scan and weekly scans look great. She's still 2-3 days ahead in terms of growth with a strong heart beat so I just cross fingers and pray every single day that things stay that way!! Still not showing though... God, I wish I'd get a bump instead of this (very) slightly rounded "I ate too many donuts" look. Haha

Hubby is well, just stressed trying to get this incredible house we found. He's always good though - very envious!! 😉

How are all of you coping? Are the kids back at school or still at home? And how are you feeling, CheerBear? xx

[CheerBear]

Hi @LJE. It was so nice to read your post this morning. Sorry it's taken a while to reply - loooong day.

HUGE yay for a healthy, strong baby girl! That is awesome news ❤ Now baby name hunting - so fun! How did it feel to find out the sex? I remember that being very exciting. I hope you get the bump that says "baby" not "donuts" happening soon haha. Are you feeling any flutters? Maybe too early 🤔 How are you sleeping? (All the questions sorry lol)

Wow - buying a house too. What a huge year. Everything crossed that works out well for you. It can be such a stressful time. I am a bit envious of anyone who can be always good too 😁

I am doing OK thanks. I started a new job (as in my first paid job for a very long time). It's been a juggle learning it all from home and a real test of where my head is at but I am getting there and it feels really good to be back at work doing something awesome and way beyond what i thought I could do.

Kids still home for another week. If anyone had told me at the start of the year that this year I would have them home for three months I would have run far and fast, so I'm feeling proud we've managed that OK. It will be a big transition back to school but they'll only be there for a couple of weeks before it's holidays.

What a year so far! Extra hugely so for you with a baby on the way and hopefully a new house too!

Great to hear from you LJE. So happy that things seem to be going well for you 😊

[Eve7]

Hi @LJE 

I’m Just popping in to say well done so far...you are already a lovely mummy.

I struggled with pregnancies, miscarriages as well as mh issues so I do understand a bit what’s going on with you.

Your little girl is going to have a lot of “aunties” on this forum.

All the best for the next half of this journey and believe me they are 

a lot less trouble in utero...but one day soon you will hold this precious babe in your arms.

Lots of encouraging love 💙🧡💙

[LJE]

Morning @CheerBear and @Eve7 ! Thanks so much for these great replies yesterday. It was a really busy day for us to so I didn't get a good chance to write back until this morning. Even now I'm waiting to hear from the real estate agent about whether or not the owners will meet our contract conditions so we can buy our dream home. So no big deal, nothing to worry about - haha.

CheerBear, it felt amazing to find out we are having a baby girl. It was always my dream to have a girl first. I found out in the chemist via text message and started crying so I had to explain to the lady through tears what it was that I required. Lol.

We have picked the name but it's the only thing we're going to keep a secret from everybody until the end . No flutters as yet but I have felt some pulling and stretching down low. I think she's still very low in my pelvis, at least that's what it seems like when they scan. Doctor also said my placenta is anterior, which may mean I don't feel many kicks until week 20 to 24. This baby is really conspiring to make me be as anxious as possible for as long as possible - haha. Sleeping ok but not great. Getting longer than before but still being woken up several times during the night usually to - TMI - pee, sadly. Still my only symptom! I really want her to get out of my pelvis so I can have a night without going to the bathroom 15 times. But I know in the end it will all be worth it.

That is such great news about your job! What sort of work is it that you are doing? If that's ok to ask? In a time like this, it's amazing to have a busy brain. I can't believe it's been 3 months at home with the kids either. Good grief! That must mean that it's been 3 months or close to that since I started talking to you wonderful ladies.

And one more week with the kids... that's happy and sad at the same time. I know a lot of my friends up here struggled when the kids went back to school because they were so used to having them around. Do you think you'll feel that way? Or secretly just happy to have a little little little tiny break? Lol.

@Eve7  - thanks so much for your lovely message. As painful as it is to know that other people have also suffered, it's comforting to not feel alone. It's one of those Catch-22 things

How did you manage your MH during pregnancy? I have another scan in the morning (having them weekly at this stage and it's so expensive but worth it for mental peace) but leading up to it, the anxiety is extreme and crippling. I end up on the scan bed shaking, sweating and crying. Full blown panic attacks.

Any tips or tricks would be much appreciated!

Hope everyone is OK and staying warm wherever they are. The 3 of us look forward to hearing back from her SANE forum aunties!!

xoxo

[Blep]

Hey @LJE. I can see alot of the other members have already shared their stories with you and all of them are amazing strong women.

Congratulations on your little baby girl! I'm so glad she is nice and strong. It must be a bit stressful though with that house deal. Hope your hubby is giving you some foot rubs at night 😁

Your story really spoke to me because I went through alot of the same emotions too. I did write a post explaining everything in detail but I'll just touch on some of it.

When I fell pregnant last year it was our first try. I felt so many mixed emotions when the stick went blue. Oh my this is happening. Oh my this is awesome. Oh my but it's our first go and I'm pregnant. I feel so guilty! All of these emotions running together in my head and then started the perinatal depression. So with you and how you were feeling scared and looking at the negative it's all normal. With what you had previously gone through ofcourse that is where your head is going to go.

When I was diagnosed with anatel depression and started talking to someone I felt relief. I wasn't going crazy, I wasn't mad, I was just going through an emotional time and needed guidance and meds to level myself out. My pregnancy was tough with gestational diabetes and high blood pressure I ended up having a "planned" emergency c-section.

You have a strong little girl inside you and you are already doing everything you can to make sure she is healthy by looking after yourself. So looking forward to hear about updates on this bundle of joy 😊