Lived Experience Forum

[Lilly6]

Hi to everyone. 
I know this is out there and unsure of whether anyone feels like this. I have a birthday coming up and I don't want to be here for it. I hate the day, it reminds me every year of how few people on my life I am really close to and I always feel happy when it is over every year. I have tons of acquaintances and online friends and some of them are really great people. But I don't have many really good friends (but the ones I have I treasure) and no real 'best' friend.
My point is my birthday comes around and hardly anyone acknowledges it unless it is on Facebook or something like that and I am not putting it on there so that people acknowledge it out of obligation. Last year in my workplace it was my first birthday there and they usually have cake for birthdays and no one even said happy birthday. They are lovely though and again would have acknowledged it if I said something about it (but I had been asked earlier in the year when it was). I know it is such a small thing and I tell myself it doesn't matter before the day every year but I still feel hurt when that day, one day out of the whole year, is not acknowledged really by anyone. 
I am just so tired of being overlooked in general not matter how much I try to assert myself and look after others and put myself out there etc etc etc. I am so tired of being me. Sorry for the whiny negative post but not feeling well and sad feelings are gearing up. 

[greenpea]

@Lilly6  Hi Lilly6 I hope you have told our keeper of the birthdays @Shaz51  when your birthday is so that we can have a birthday party for you here on the forums :). Shaz51 organizes the best birthdays ever. I hope you are feeling a bit better this morning and that you have a kind and 'pea'ceful day ahead. Love peaxx

[Maggie]

@Lilly6  No need to apologise. I didn’t see it as a whiny post at all, I read about someone who just needs to be seen, heard and celebrated. Not a big ask, a basic need.

Some of us find it hard to put ourselves out there. Being assertive isn’t an east ask. You sound very caring , very aware of others. Being overlooked at anytime is difficult, but around Birthday’s it’s extra hard.

Would it be possible to let one person at work know when the big day is? People often like to celebrate given the opportunity. Or start a birthday book, like @Shaz51 here. Record birthdays so hopefully, no one misses out. You might not be the only one there feeling left out . Just a thought.

Happy Birthday for the big day. 💞💞🌈🌈

[Lilly6]

Thank you @Maggie I find it very hard to put myself out there and always have. I can be assertive in most situations but generally can't when it is in relation to myself. 

I'm pretty sure a list was made last year with everyone's birthday but obviously no one took notice of my name or it just wasn't checked around that time, who knows. I am not the sort of person that tells everyone it's my birthday, I just feel hurt and internalise it. Anyway thank you for your birthday wish! 

[Lilly6]

Thank you @greenpea @and no I haven't told @Shaz51 as I haven't figured out how or where to as yet. All good. Have a lot more to worry about then my birthday so I will focus on that. 

[greenpea]

@Lilly6  can you whisper it to me and I will tell her :). Cannot have you missing out on your birthday party.

[Shaz51]

@Lilly6, when is your birthday my friend 

@greenpea, @Maggie  

[Lilly6]

June 17. I feel silly now for saying how I feel about that day. It is really not that big a deal especially at my age 😌 but thank you 💜

[Maggie]

@Shaz51  Just tagging you to the date.

Please don’t feel silly. If it helps at all, we all love any opportunity to celebrate here on the forums, so you help us all. 💜💜💜

[Lostandalone]

@Lilly6  I am a birthday avoider too.... I hate birthdays..it's is just another day..... they just reminds me of all the things that I didn't achieve and how much of a failure I am... how much dreams don't come true 

when I was much younger I had a vision I would be dead by the time I was 30.... I am now almost 50 and with each year comes more disappointment .... silly I know