Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

I know this sounds weird, since I haven't been very active recently, but I thought I'd mention it anyway.

I won't be on here for a hot second, and I may or may not delete my profile after that.

Things have been tough recently.

My family basically won't let me leave the house while the case numbers are this high, even when I'm allowed to. I don't know if they're serious, but it sounds like I won't be going for walks or having coffee for an unknown period of time.

It's going to be really difficult to think of the end of this lockdown as a "freedom" moment. My life sucked before the lockdown too. Of course, it is a "freedom" moment and there are some things I'd like to do once the restrictions are eased, but I don't really have much to celebrate.

This site has been really good to me, but I feel like, especially recently, I am having trouble relating to a lot of people.

I can't reply to people who talk about how much they've been fighting, because the reality is, I HAVEN'T been fighting. I feel a bit out of place in that regard.

I also feel like it's impossible for people to know what I'M going through, because of my unique circumstances.

Of course, no-one is going to know exactly how you're feeling, but with this, I really think that people are just not going to be able to help.

To give you a tiny slice of what I mean, I can't really date online, because I look much older than I actually am. I have literally had grey hair since I was ten years old. I've been told that it's my voice that gives my age away. 

Good luck trying to advise me on that. I would bet that VERY few people will know what that's like.

I'll probably come back when I'm stronger, but I am just really tired.

Thank you, guys, for listening and for trying to help.

[wellwellwellnez]

I could try and hazard an anawer to the videodate problem. It's kind of a copy and paste solution from my online therapy experience. Switching to phones and going pure audio can be liberating.

It actually kind of reminds me of that couples game where you sit back to back so you can rest in each others thoughts. Maybe I recomend that as well (when contact is a thing).

[AussieRecharger]

Hey @Former-Member

You might be right, we might not be able to relate to what you are going through at the moment, but it's a self-fulfilling prophecy if you don't give us the chance, we also don't get the chance to see your problem through your circumstances. 

A good woman won't care what you look like, she will care about who you are on the inside... Maybe give us a run down on how you will talk yourself up?

You seem like a loyal and steadfast companion, who has a high amount of emotional intelligence. Say you did get into a video date.. Do you have some trivia handy to make it interesting... What other ways do you think you could make video dating fun? do you like poetry?

If you don't decide to come back, it would be a shame as you will be missed, but I wish you the best on your break and navigating lockdown. 

Remember, your only a 2 min post away and we will all be here ready to reply to what ever you are feeling.. relatable or not. 

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member Don't you know grey hair is on trend! Young women have been dying their hair grey, my niece does this and she's 21 grey hair in men of any age is very attractive and distinguished and I am not saying that to try cheer you up. Celebrate it, flaunt it!

I am feeling very flat myself and have for a while now. I too feel like leaving as I just don't have the mental energy and I feel like I am not pulling my weight in the forums so to speak.  But I am hanging in here because I know, hope, things will improve and it really does help 💜   Hope you will hang in here too 😊

[Sky4]

Hi to the people who have been writing on this thread. I am totally new here - literally signed up minutes ago. While I'm not even sure if it's appropriate for me to jump in here, I just want to thank you all for what you've written. It's such an ugh time, and I feel similarly that I don't want to be moaning when others are fighting in far more difficult circumstances. But your experience is your experience and I feel like it's okay to just feel the feels that come with that. (Maybe that's some advice to myself.) Good luck with meeting someone. I'm also at a loss to explain how I'm feeling right now. It's the middle of the night. Can't sleep. Distressed but also recognising I'm so lucky. Not sure who to talk to about the lonliness and emptiness and general sadness I'm feeling. But I just wanted to thank you all for starting a thread that wasn't too daunting for me to catch on to. 

[Former-Member]

Hello @Sky4  hope you are feeling a little better today.  If you want to tag anyone like I did to you, just type the @ symbol and a drop down box will appear this will show the most recent members on a post. Just continue typing someone's name and it will appear.  I will tag a couple of community members to welcome you and give more advice. Take care ❤️

@Shaz51 @bipolarbunny 

[Sky4]

Thanks @Former-Member, I appreciate your reply. Things are ok, one day up, next day down. Yesterday I couldn't make it through the work day so just up and left at 2.45pm to put myself to bed. Hopefully they'll understand when I go back tomorrow. Cheers and thanks anyway.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Sky4  great to 'see' you again. I think this wet winter coupled with Covid is really giving everyone such a hard time on top of our mental illness!  There are times when you just need to take yourself off to bed and switch off to everything going on around you, well done!  Self care is very important. I managed to get some walking done in between the rain and a bit of gardening this really lifted me. There are lots of different threads to join in including craft, knitting, dogs etc. please do join in you will be very welcomed. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you 🌺

Tagging @Judi9877 @Oaktree @BPDSurvivor to welcome Sky4 to the forum ❤️

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Sky4 ,

Welcome Welcome!

Im sorry to hear things are a bit urghhhh at the moment. Definitely doesn't sound pleasant, but I'm so glad you have joined us, and I thank @Former-Member for tagging me.

I too feel a bit average tonight. I think I'm a little anxious about sleeping because I'll be returning to work tomorrow (after our lockdown here in Melb). Sometimes, I get so worked up about not sleeping that I end up not sleeping! I know you posted in the wee hours of the morning, so you know what not sleeping feels like!

Well tonight, I attended an online mental health fitness talk. It was an eye-opener. I found it really interesting that they call it 'fitness' - meaning you have to work at it in order to stay mentally well (esp during this time). After, I stayed online to chat to a psychologist just to see if I can get some more support around my MH at the moment.

Which state are you located (if you don't mind me asking)? I guess there's help and supports out there - we just need to get connected with the right people.

Please feel free to browse through the forums and tag me any time (include an @ in front of the person you are tagging). Besides work, I'm quite isolated, so I don't mind tags 😉

BPDSurvivor

[Oaktree]

Hi @Sky4  and welcome to the forums. Sorry that life is ugh for you right now. I totally relate to the loneliness and boredom of life. I have found these forums very helpful and I hope that you will too. To post click on lived experience then on one of the topics - then click new discussion. I have found that by running my concerns past our peers here that it makes it easier to make hard decisions such as whether or not to commit to trauma therapy in my case. Having so many peers in one place means you get a variety of view points. Glad you have found us and look forward to seeing you around.

Meggle