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Sng1Mum
New Contributor

Struggling to find Mental Health Support

Hi,

I'm a single Mum with an autistic child. Right after I just left my abusive ex-husband I found out some information that answered alot of issues I've had in life that I couldn't figure out. Dr's etc have asked me multiple times in the past and I only just figured out within the last two years that due to specific childhood abuse I've had blocked memories. The only memories I "could" remember of my childhood up until about age 15 approx was less then 5 memories that all relatives have told me were wrong-mixed up memories inaccurate etc...

 

So since leaving my ex I found some good mental health set up, but then got Vic Housing on opposite side of the city, and since I moved out with my son to live on our own almost 1.5 yrs ago all I've managed is to get myself a psychiatrist for medicating my Bipolar and that's it.

 

Ok, so it lifted "some" of my depression just enough that I'm safe of not wanting to hyrt myself or anything, but I'm still feelilng very hopeless and unable to cope on my own half the time. I use my 61 yr old mother as an emotional crutch and we are both not handling it very well.

 

We have a sort of love/hate relationship and half the time we arugue, and she triggers me too much for various reasons not totally in either of our control. Which beats the point as I left my ex to avoid panic attacks and too much fighting etc, I can't handle any sort of arguments or even slight dissagreements, even being told she thinks differently then me, as soon as she says the word no even casually it pretty much triggers me.

 

Even when I find Psychologists "able" to accept new clients they won't help me because my case is so complicated. Mental health diagnosis with ptsd, panic attack, social phobia, possible childhood trauma... As soon as I say the childhood trauma is not proven or I am uncertain about it Psychologists don't want to help. Even if I find out, I can barely afford it on Centrelink payments etc.

 

I "thought" I found free counsellor that helps with trauma but she tole me off for approx 10 mins for being 9 mins late for zoom meeting and now the office won't help me because I said I was not impressed with her attitude etc. I mean, they are supposed to help trauma sufferes and they expect perfect calm talking etc???  Really? So basically no one is willing to help me also because of my panic attacks, which can happen suddenly during conversation with health services due to their vague "rules" about how you speak to them.

 

I'm like, "I'm NOT being angry or anything towards them, but any sign of stress etc in voice and they refuse to talk to me" That's not fair that's why I'm DESPERATE for help!?!?!   I'm at a loss, it seems no one is willing ot help....  I'm trying NOT to cry around my son but it's lockdown my son's remote learning and I'm barely coping sometimes... I'm just so emotionally EXHAUSTED and tired of HIDING my emotional needs etc, it's so hard NOT to cry sometimes. I've got anxiety/panic and it's so hard to NOT show it....

 

 

6 REPLIES 6

Re: Struggling to find Mental Health Support

Hi and welcome, @Sng1Mum , it's good you've joined. I can really feel how desperate you are for help and support. 

 

I'm sorry you had to move away from your good mental health support Smiley Sad

 

I am surprised and dismayed that psychologists won't take you on. Good ones are out there, so please don't give up hope of finding one. I wonder if it would be possible to only mention a couple of your issues at the start, not including the possible childhood trauma, and focus on them for a while?

 

Also, do you have a Mental Health Care Plan from your GP? This provides subsidised psychology sessions (sorry if you already have this).

 

You can also ring the SANE Helpline on 1800 187 263 for brief counselling, they have limited Chat (text-based) services too. 

 

A helpful forum tip is to type @ and then click on a name in the drop-down box, that way the person you're replying to will get a notification and won't miss your reply. Smiley Happy

 

Sending you lots of best wishes for finding good professional support. 

Re: Struggling to find Mental Health Support

@NatureLover 

 

That's one of the main issues, I don't even have a stable GP atm. We had one until a few months back,  we "thought" was our GP since over a year, about a month back suddenly her office started saying she's booked out all the time. They keep booking us random dr's suddenly saying she's always busy...

 

When we were still seeing her she kept making excuses not to check my mental health plan and wouldn't explain to me how it works etc when I asked her. She stuffed up an important hospital referral for my posible treatment of painful womens issues, apparently her "refferral" was too vague etc and she refused to get back to the hospital when they tried contacting her. I'm like; "whaaa??" 

 

Atm hunting for GP, hunting for any kind of cheap or bulk billed mental health services. I am on Centrelink, can't even "think" or going back to work atm, too much panic/anxiety, communication issues etc.  Trying to get onto NDIS or Centrelink disability, I'm studying online but to get  Austudy you need full time and my online studies cause extra steps because they are accept but are more strict with online studies.

 

Dealing with my sons NDIS, ongoing legal issues from my abusive ex husband, plus first time living completely on my own without any other adult. "Trying" to learn to be emotional independent and deal with lifes "crap" without some sort of therapy or counselling, dealing on my own with trauma, ptsd etc without help is overwhelming. I am looking after my son and I as best I can physically with my anxiety and panic  etc, but emotionally there are days I feel it's all too much.

 

There is a diagnosis of things like panic disorder and everyone knows roughly about panic attacks but anyone who witness a panic attack not even medical practitioners, therapists etc can't seem to "handle" a panicking person, from what I can see and it just feels so unfair. People "say" it's acceptable to have panic attacks but as soon as they see a person having one or crying, it's like, your inelligible for help and put into the "too hard" bascket...   

Re: Struggling to find Mental Health Support

Hello @Sng1Mum Heart 

 

Sorry to hear about your struggles and hardship.  I get panic attacks and use something that people in the armed forces use to create parasympathetic dominance and stop panic.

 

I use it when I am out in public, on a bus or anywhere I may feel ill at ease.  Its highly effective and gives you your life back so you can go about your normal business.

 

If I feel a panic attack coming on I do something called "square breathing" - there are four parts to the breath: 

 

You breathe in for 4 seconds,

hold for 4 seconds

then breathe out four seconds

then wait four seconds

 

You repeat it over and over up to 5 times worth of square breathing. Then increase it to 6 seconds to each part of the breath

 

Google "Square breathing you tube" and it should bring up something you can listen to to guide you through the process to make it easier until you get the hang of it.

 

I find it useful to have a guided meditation done off you tube so I don't have to think about the sequence. 

 

Psychiatrists can prescribe meds for panic attacks - I know someone who finds it more convenient to take a pill but you may want to restrict what pills you put in your body and only take what you need.

 

Good luck with everything huni,

Square breathing will get you back in control of your life!

 

Much love,

S.G xxoo

Re: Struggling to find Mental Health Support

Hey @Sng1Mum 

 

Square breathing is good as @Smiling_Gecko mentions but it does take practice so don't expect it to work straight away, it can also be frustrating when you stuff it up Smiley Happy.. learning how to breathe is one of the first skills they teach the youth of Tibetan monks as breathing is a good way of controlling your body in the moment. 

 

You have multiple issues at the moment and I think trying to focus on fixing them all at once is a fool's errand. What is the main issue you want to work on, is it to control the panic attacks or something else?


If you can start to prioritise what you want to deal with, you may be able to narrow down the type of gp and specialists that you are looking for and save yourself a lot of time.  Also, if you are feeling that you are leaning on your mum too much, it might be worth you engaging a peer support worker who can talk with you about recovery and what assistance might help to get you back on your feet. 

 

https://www.sane.org/peer-support

 

I looking forward to hearing more from you @Sng1Mum and seeing if we can get you on the path you are seeking. 

Re: Struggling to find Mental Health Support

You might want to try the Blue Knot Foundation. They are "the national standard of excellence in complex trauma." They keep lists of trauma informed practitioners and they counsel those that have been let down and abused by the care industry. Small team, but if leave a message and they do get back to you.

Re: Struggling to find Mental Health Support

Oh gosh, @Sng1Mum , I'm sorry all your troubles are overwhelming Smiley Sad

 

The GP you were seeing doesn't sound great...I hope you can find a better one. 

 

On days you feel it's all too much, I hope you'll consider ringing the SANE helpline (number at top of page). 

 

I really hope you can find a good psychologist and GP soon. 

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