Riding a wave

[Catcakes]

Best of luck and strength to you @Phoenix_Rising for your change the world adventure.

[CheerBear]

Hi @Phoenix_Rising 🙂

I'm sooooo excited about your changing the world adventure and the fancy hotel! I can see how anxiety might be happening. Changing the world is a big deal! I love that you do big enough ones that you get to stay in a hotel and I definitely agree with TTT with the bath and bathrobe thing, not that I would have much of an idea when it came to fancy hotels! I wish I could see the website but I will giggle without knowing.

I'm glad you've had a peaceful day 🙂 I have had a really good one today, especially considering how not-good things got yesterday and last night. My appointment is at 11 tomorrow and I am already thankful for the pocket company, though I am feeling ok about it. I trust Dr Havetodo which works well because it will take some time to trust Dr Not-a-teddy 🙂

Just quietly, I am really thankful for turtle pace wirh the DBT adventure at the moment. Things have been way harder than I expected or prepared myself for over the last weeks. I am really hoping to start properly working on writing DT soon, once I finish practicing it 😉 I am also hoping that once some fish go back to school I'll be able to read and reply there a little more again too. We'll get there when we do.

I will be thinking of you tomorrow and looking forward to hearing how you get on, really busting with wishing I could see see you in action.

Night 🙂

[CheerBear]

Thinking of you lots, hoping your adventure is going well and the fancy hotel is comfy @Phoenix_Rising. Really looking forward to hearing about it if/when you share 🙂

[Phoenix_Rising]

I am trying so hard to enjoy my big adventure. This has been planned for months and it should be such a super fun time. I am trying so hard to enjoy the right now. But still, the weight of the wrongness of the wrong hangs so very very heavy in my soul. I am super dissociated and it makes navigating the adventure so much harder than it would otherwise be. I can't get the super scared feelings out of my body. I can feel how much I'm sitting right on the edge of my window of tolerance and I'm just waiting for the next email bus to come along and further mush my brain. The I-don't-matter feelings, the anybody-can-do-anything-to-me feelings, the no-one-hears-me-no-one-believes-me feelings and the super icky shhhhh-don't-tell feelings have filled up my brain and my soul. Good job brain for knowing how to shut down to protect itself! It is so so SO hard to enjoy the present with a super mushed brain. 

Goodnight @SleepyPanda. I just saw that you are now on ocean-watching duty for the night. I super like how you are appearing so frequently in Forum Land. It feels nice to have regular non-regular moderators watching over the ocean. 

[SleepyPanda]

Hi @Phoenix_Rising

I'll be around until 12.

Though you are struggling, I just need to comment, I love your words, they are so insightful and are a vivid description of how you are feeling, a true writer.

I hope you are able to live in the moment and feel your adventure with all your senses and not just with your mind. I hope that makes sense.

Take Care

SP

[Phoenix_Rising]

I super like you @SleepyPanda. Thank you for watching over the ocean. 

[SleepyPanda]

@Phoenix_Rising

[TheVorticon]

Well done for trying to enjoy the fun parts of the big adventure @Phoenix_Rising. It sounds like you're doing really well to navigate the good parts while there's a lot of background difficult stuff going on. I really hope there are no more email buses. I'll start looking for the gate key for the email bus depot, then lock it so they can't drive around at all.

[Maggie]

@Phoenix_Risinghttps://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aF7yFOlOk9M

[Phoenix_Rising]

Super big thank you for dropping by the ocean last night @TheVorticon and @Maggie. I super like the idea of you locking all the buses in the bus yard @TheVorticon.That would be superly duperly helpful. 

I am about to wander down to breakfast in the fancy hotel. I have high hopes for this breakfast so I super hope I won't be disappointed. I don't have to change the world until 10am so if there is a super cool buffet breakfast, I fully intend to spend about two hours enjoying it - yay for all you can eat buffets! 

I am definitely going to be super practicing my mindfulness skills to stay in the present and enjoy eating crazy amounts of food, while my soul and my body super struggle with the wrongness of the wrong. I woke up drenched in sweat, despite the airconditioning in the fancy hotel room being set to a perfect temperature.  I am going to try super hard to focus on the power I do have in this changing the world adventure, rather than the utter powerlessness and voicelessness of the oh-so-deeply-wrong other thing that is crushing me at the moment. 

I super hope today has some good in it for everyone.