Lived Experience Forum

[BlueBay]

Hi @Acacia thanks for your support yesgterday.  sorry i didn't reply earlier.

i appreciate it so much that my forum friends support me here and listen when i need to vent or just write how i am feeling.

thanks also @oceangirl @Flying_Hams @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @Eve7 @hanami 

i am taking one day at a time. everytime i close my eyes to try and sleep my mind is going from one issue to another.  it's a crazy busy mind.

[hanami]

Hi @BlueBay 

Sorry things are continuing to weigh you down. I can sense the heaviness in your heart. Yes you are a good person, your GP is correct. You're loved and cared about too. 

Sending warm hugs 

hanami 💮

[BlueBay]

thanks @hanami but how do i stop these racing thoughts in my head.  they go from one thing to another and another.  they can be old memories, good and bad; then jumps to my abuse; then jumps to my stressors at the moment.  I can't seem to switch off.

[hanami]

It's so tricky to switch those thoughts off. Often, the more we tried to fight them off, the more they fight back and take hold. The only way thing I've found that helps is to accept the thought, recognised that it's just a thought, not a fact, and watch it move off. I think of the thoughts as clouds. The come to me, I recognise them, then they float by. It's not easy to do. Some thoughts won't budge. I hope others have some ideas on how to deal with them too.

sending hugs

hanami 💮

[BlueBay]

thanks @hanami  xxxx

[Flying_Hams]

Hey @BlueBay
Thinking about this has got me thinking too. In terms of thoughts racing - this is me at about 3am in the morning.
Usually I have to process it all.
Lately I have found that writing it all down helps the most though.
My best as always

[BlueBay]

good point @Flying_Hams i will write down my racing thoughts and show my psych at next session in a few weeks.

@hanami @oceangirl @Shaz51 @Acacia @Emelia8 @Owlunar @Snowie 

what is wrong with me???  I thought my psych was going to email me after i wrote to her yesterday, but instead she called me and I couldn't talk to her because hubby was right next to me.  I got up and moved and she asked if i could talk and i said no.  She asked if i was taking my meds to which i said yes.  she wanted to make sure i am seeing my doctor next week and if i would be okay until then.  i told her i think so.  so much hubby doesn't know exactly how i am feeling and my racing thoughts.  feeling of hopeless is with me tonight.

i wanted to talk to her more but felt i could't because then hubby would hear everything.

i am such a hopeless person and wife.  can't even be honest with my hubby.  my GP appt is not until next thursday, but i may see if i can get an earlier appt.

i feel i don't want to go anywhere or do anything.  i don't want to see anyone either.  

to be honest i don't know why i am like this, i should be happy as i saw my dad last week after not seeing him for a very long time.  but even now that happiness has gone so quickly.  its strange.

[Flying_Hams]

Hey @BlueBay

mental illness is strange
life is strange
strange is life maybe?

Not too sure what to say my firiend but yeah just saying I am hearing you

[BlueBay]

thanks heaps @Flying_Hams 

hugs to you to my friend xxx

[BlueBay]

I need to vent - 

no it doesn’t matter. Don’t worry