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Something’s not right

BPD1
New Contributor

NQR atm

Have bipolar with psychosis am not doing so well atm after mania episode I tend to retreat to my bed partly to make up for lost sleep but mostly so I can block out the days following plus forget how I'm feeling & limit my exposure to my kids while I'm sick

I call it being in  "My coma" 

I slept for four days & nights straight this time.I don't eat only drink & only wake to go to the loo.

 once I wake up & begin  to snap out I  it get the  guilts this  time though I'm feeling severely depressed my thoughts are not healthy ones & my anxiety is causing me to pick & scratch myself so much so that I'm now looking horrible & sore. 

I'm tired of isolating cause I look like shit ,lettingmy kids down 

I've never been to treatment or hospital for my illness so I'm terrified of the thought.

I try to fix myself so the need for admission doesn't happen.

I also wonder if I contribute to my illness by not seeking help

beyond prescription medicine for my BPD.

Any feedback will be appreciated.

 

 

 

 

21 REPLIES 21
greenpea
Senior Contributor

Re: NQR atm

@BPD1  Hi BPD1 and welcome to the forums. I was originally diagnoised with bipolar disorder I later changed to schizoaffactive disorder. Short answer is that you sound like you need to see your trusted gp asap. It doesnt mean that you have to be admitted to hospital (I understand where you are coming with that) . It just means that you will be more than likely be given the option of being referred to a psychiatrist who will spend time assessing you and giving you  the option of medication to treat the mental illness. You know in yourself things cannot continue down this route particularly since you are a mother. Once you are seeing a professional I can guarantee you will be feeling much more in control. Take good care of yourself and keep in touch. Love peax

Re: NQR atm

Thanks for the reply.
Am on meds for BPD diagnosed 3 yrs ago by a psychiatrist.
still have bad episodes that knock me around physically and mentally
taking my medication doesn't seem to be enough??
I don't know.
I'm tired of sick & sick of being tired.
Thanks for your kind advice

Re: NQR atm

Hi @BPD1 

welcome to the forum. There are lots of kind, supportive people here who have similar lives to you.

Ive been diagnosed with schizophrenia and depression and it’s a hard path to travel. I’m currently in hospital with an amazing psychiatrist who listens and wants to work on solutions together.

I’m here to walk with you.

@greenpea 

Re: NQR atm

@Eve7  Hi Eve7 sending kind wishes to you hunny. Love peaxx

Re: NQR atm

Thank you @greenpea @I needed that right now.

Hope your day is good

Re: NQR atm

@Eve7  I am good sweety. Will be around on and off this weekend if you need to talk. You wont be alone with your Sane family here supporting you. How long do you think you will be in hospital for? x

Re: NQR atm

Hi @greenpea 

a few more weeks or until the wind changes...who knows??? It’s quite nice and it is what it is!

Re: NQR atm

@Eve7  😄 as long as you are happy and am being well looked after. I like that "until the wind changes" havent heard that saying in 20 years or more.

Re: NQR atm

@greenpea 

I don’t know about happy but they are mostly very good to me and I couldn’t have asked for a better Psychiatrist.

As for the wind...I’m hoping Mary Poppins cleans my house while I’m away!

😋

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