Lived Experience Forum

[Zoe7]

I can 100% tell you that you would never be forgotten here my sweet, sweet @Snowie There are people that enter our lives that leave indelible marks - you are one of them Hon. No it is not the same as having someone you can go to or talk to physically but do not ever underestimate you friendship here with so many. You make a difference in our lives and that is something 💙💙💙

[Snowie]

Thank you @Zoe7 that means a lot.

I can't stop the tears tonight or the thoughts. Think I might just go to bed.

Thanks for the support tonight @Zoe7 @creative_writer @outlander 

[Zoe7]

You mean a lot sweetheart 💙💙💙 I hope you can sleep okay and those thoughts give you a break. Love ya @Snowie 

[tyme]

Hi @Snowie hun,

There is a lot in your post which sounds all too familiar in many posts. 

The idea of not wanting to be your own friend is something I always said about myself. Another thing I often, and still consider is, 'Thank God there's only one of me! The world couldn't cope with more than one!'

And in a way, I think those who have experienced trauma, have their minds geared towards thinking in this way as a means to perhaps protect themselves from further trauma? That the mind tells you to stay away from people so that you don't have to trust people and potentially be hurt again? Do you think so?

I'm only thinking out allowed.

You may be interested in tonight's Peer Group Chat. It is on 'navigating sadness' or something like that. https://www.sane.org/peer-support/peer-group-chat

Speak soon!

[outlander]

sitting with you @Snowie

[creative_writer]

@Snowie, I am here sitting with you ❤️ . It's hard feeling so alone and not being able to trust.

[Snowie]

Hi @tyme 

I know I am not alone in these thoughts, that many people with MI have the same problem.

I do agree with you that we stay away from people so that we don't get hurt again. That the trust we once had was broken.

I also know that it takes two people to make a friendship. Maybe I shouldn't be blaming others but blaming myself. I could always reach out to people but choose not too. I could call them or message them but I don't. In some ways I think I also push people away without realising I do. If I don't have friends then I can't get hurt when I walk away.

I really wanted to attend the Peer Group Chat but just not in the right headspace for it.

Maybe a Peer Group Chat on friends might be a good idea. I know I am not the only one who feels this way.

I just feel so lonely, I feel so rejected by people, I fee like my life isn't worth it. I think my thoughts are more then just about friendship and just more about my headspace at the moment.

Thanks for your insight. I appreciate it.

[creative_writer]

@Snowie, it totally feel you in wanting to protect yourself from being hurt again. I don’t know if this resonates with you too, but I also feel my low self-worth and feelings of unworthiness causes me to reject love too. Like my family can tell me they love me, but I won’t feel important or significant because I just don’t feel worthy of love.

[Snowie]

I have those same feelings too @creative_writer I don't understand why my hubby loves me like he does. It is strange that I have no friends yet have been in a committed relationship for over 25 years. I really struggle to understand this.

[Eve7]

You are loveable @Snowie  💜💜