Lived Experience Forum

[Eve7]

I am still here @Bow 

Can you stay in the moment and not think too far ahead?

I hope you’ve had good holiday weather ☀️🙏

[NatureLover]

Sorry things are so tough for you, @Bow  😞

Sending hugs... 💜

[Bow]

Made the long drive home this afternoon. We had a full day planned today and was going to drive home later this afternoon, but the main place that we wanted to visit while away was fully booked out today. So disappointed. I am really frustrated with myself. I should of looked to see if you needed to book. daughter still enjoyed her day but I was annoyed with myself. 

A lot mixed emotions driving home. Was anxious to be away from home, having to take better care of myself, trying to eat and drink more, less exercise. But when it was time to come home felt overwhelming dread. Knowing what I now have to face when I am back home. Suppose to have follow up bloods tomorrow, do I bother? I didn’t take the meds that I was suppose to. I have every intention of diving back into what I was doing before we left. 

Monday it will be a year. I’m not coping. Maybe that was a bit of the dread too. I just want to disappear and not deal with it. I don’t want to face the coming days. I’m not sure if my psych will be back next week. 

[Jynx]

@Bow  It doesn't surprise me you're feeling really uneasy about heading home - perhaps because you got some respite and now feel like you are returning to a place of distress and horror. Like a 'back to reality, oh wait my reality is currently not a pleasant time.' 

But you always have agency and choice, and you can choose to bring a little of your holiday vibes home with you perhaps? 

Coming up to such an anniversary is bound to be an incredibly emotional time for you. You might feel a lot of things, but you may also find it to be easier than expected, you never know. You don't have to do it alone though 💜

[Bow]

Feel like I went away to a place of unease and anxiety and returning to the same.

[Bow]

I sat for 1/2hr before community mh decided to let me know that my case manager wasn’t even in today. They sent someone else, a psychologist, to chat with me. 

of all the weeks for my regular supports to be away, this is the worst. I mentioned my concern about this weekend and it being a year on Monday. She didn’t ask for details thankfully, but I soon started disappearing. Worst appointment ever 😩

[Bow]

I don’t know how to get through the next few days I want to just disappear 

[Peregrinefalcon]

Hey @Bow 

It sounds like the weekend is going to be a challenging one. We are always here to help you through the difficult times 💖

Of course, should you need more urgent support, please do not hesitate to reach out to a crisis service to keep yourself safe (Lifeline 13 11 14; Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467; or 000).

Sending love and support 💌

Kind regards

Peregrinefalcon

[Eve7]

@Bow 

💙🦋🙏🦋💙

[NatureLover]

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@Bow wrote:

I don’t know how to get through the next few days I want to just disappear 

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@Bow  so sorry to hear 😞

I know the feeling of wanting to disappear, although I don't have a specific ED at the moment (I had bulimia when I was younger). 

Here for you 💜