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Something’s not right

Bow
Senior Contributor

Re: My Mosaic

I seen my case manager this morning. It was ok. She is concerned though about my safety. Sigh 😩

 

Then I seen my dietician. It also went ok, but at the end she told me that she is moving all her appointments to Telehealth next year (not too big an issue, but I do prefer face to face), but that she will also be charging a gap fee. She has bulk billed me for the last 2 years. And with seeing her fortnightly, I just won’t be able to afford it. I’m really disappointed. Sad. I really like her. She is well educated in EDs. 

im still in a really depressed slump. I can’t seem to pull myself out of it. I can tell I’m not in a good way cause my personal hygiene isn’t ok. I’m normally a shower every day person, can’t stand not to shower. But at the moment I just can’t be bothered and go days without a shower. All I wanna do is sleep. Can’t wait for daughter to go to bed of a night so that I can then go myself. 

Re: My Mosaic

It must be hard to find a dietitian who is well educated on ED's @Bow I hear how disappointing that is. Will you be able to drop back from once a fortnight so it's still manageable? 

Re: My Mosaic

@Bow it’s a shame the dietician will be charging a gap fee. But I agree that having one education in ED helps. Do you know if she bulk bills certain clients? I know with my psych having a low income health care card means I am being charged less. Have you spoken to her about how you feel like you will struggle to pay the gap?

I really do hope the depression slump lifts. It’s hard to be in that mental headspace.
Bow
Senior Contributor

Re: My Mosaic

@creative_writer @Paperdaisy  I may drop back to monthly and see how I manage that. She knows that I am on a pension, so doubt it will make any difference. 

I have also enquired at another service that I seen pop up on Facebook recently. 

Re: My Mosaic

@Bow I really do hope you are able to get the support you need. Here with you ❤️
Bow
Senior Contributor

Re: My Mosaic

Do you look at your life and realise what a complete waste it is? I have zero motivation. I have laid in bed all afternoon. There are so many things that I could be doing. I’m tired of living like this. I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of being unwell. I wish the last attempt was successful. I wish I could fall asleep and not wake up. I wish to not be here

Re: My Mosaic

Hey @Bow, sounds like a rough time. Sounds like you're feeling a lot of guilt around resting today, which is a tough place to be. I know a lot of us have been in a similar place.

 

Do you think reaching out to someone for some support today could be useful?

 

I also thought I'd share this post about how to create safety when talking about suicide and thought...

Re: My Mosaic

@Bow I feel you ❤️. Depression can be horrible. Even though you feel worthless, you are worthy, you matter to us. What do you think will help you feel better right now?
Bow
Senior Contributor

Re: My Mosaic

😩

I’m so sorry I’m such a waste of space. I am repulsed by the person I have become.

Re: My Mosaic

hey @Bow, we're here to listen. Like @creative_writer said, sometimes our mental can make us think things about ourselves and feel worse about our selves. 

 

I'm wondering what you need to feel a bit better or remind yourself that these feelings will pass? 

 

For me, I try to spend time with other people to distract myself or just say 1 thing I'm proud of myself for (even if it seems small). Not sure if that might help?

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