Lived Experience Forum

[Anastasia]

@Snowie 🌷💕

@Bow 🌞💕

Quick fly bye 🙏💙

[Bow]

Today has been shitty. 

I ate a tiny bit of breakfast after the nurse nagging me abs basically opening everything up and telling me to eat. Haven't managed anything since.  Doctor has just been around and is threatening to put the NG back in 😩

I feel sick. I'm not at all hungry. I just want to disappear. I'm tired. Tired of having to constantly deal with my head and the storm that rages inside. 

[Bow]

This is exactly what I feared. They put the NG in and got me back to a medically better state but didn't change any of my thinking. Nothing has changed. I still deeper hate myself. Everything about me. I hate how fat I am. Disgusting. I fear losing control when I eat food. I want to get out of here 

[Peregrinefalcon]

Hey @Bow  

I'm so sorry to see you're not feeling good today and that the negative thoughts about yourself are so strong.

Getting better is not easy and the strength you have shown so far is absolutely incredible.

I hope your friends here on the Forum can give you some good support today and that coming here is a welcome distraction for you ❤️

Take good care of yourself

Kind regards

Peregrinefalcon

[Anastasia]

Oh @Bow 

I am so sorry today is awful for you.

I wish you could see yourself as we do.

A beautiful, sweet caring soul who deserves good health, a happy life and to be home with your girl. 

Stay focused Bow. You've got this, it hasn't got you.

Sending you some squishy hugs sweetheart 🤗🤗🤗 🤗🤗🤗 and love 💕💕💕💕💕

[Anastasia]

Hello @Peregrinefalcon 

Your messages are always so lovely, thank you for what you do 🙏💙

[Snowie]

@Bow so sorry to hear the news hon.

We are here for you sweetheart 💜💜

[Bow]

To have doctors basically reinforce beliefs that all my supports have been trying to get me to not believe... that this is all my choice. 

last couple of days have been really rough. I've had an IV put back in cause I couldn't manage to eat or drink anything to bring my blood sugars back up. And then have just had the NG tube put back in. 

goal is home by Friday. Doesn't matter how much I am eating, that is the goal. Apparently they need my bed for covid patients. Made to feel like shit when I already feel like shit. 

screw your eating disorder. Screw you life. 

[Snowie]

Sounds like you are going through so much @Bow 

Here with you hon 💌💗💕

[Eve7]

I am sorry @Bow 

Sitting with you and praying for you xox