26-03-2020 03:08 PM
I know this virus is causing a great deal of anxiety for most people.
Work is closed. Indefinitely. Not that I miss the people there, or the environment.
Gym is closed. Indefinitely. Again, not that I miss anyone there.
Anywhere else I go is closed too.
I guess, in a lot of ways, it feels like it is expected that this isolation and social distancing should be easy for me. But it's not. It is really just highlighting how alone ... and how lonely ... I really am. There isn't even friends to text with, or video chat.
Have been trying a lot of chat and dating apps and sites. To try and find someone to talk with. But it is all extremely frustrating and depressing. I seem to be invisible on them. When someone does respond, they are just always promoting their Instagram or Snapchat, or pushing some webcam site. Or they quickly show themselves to just be scammers asking for money, bitcoin, gift card codes, ect ect. Have even tried a few art sites, but with out any success on any other. Just a reminder that, even a shared interest doesn't make it any easier to find someone to talk with. Let alone maybe make a connection.
Yes, I try the social spaces on here. I do and look at them. But they don't really feel like places for me, conversations I can get involved in. I prefer using an app anyway, since I might only check this site a couple of times a day unless I get a message saying there is a reply. Apps like whatsapp, or KiK. Have even been trying Facebook again, but still with no success. People just don't want to know me.
I don't want to be alone, in a world that has spent 44 years telling me I should be.
26-03-2020 04:00 PM
I'm really sorry to hear that you're really feeling the sting of this social isolation. It's good that you feel you can come to the forums to share your feelings and look for some support. It sounds like you've been trying really hard to reach out and form some connections, and I can understand that if you've not been having as much luck, it might feel discouraging. What's important is that you are trying though, and I really hope you continue to do so - you never know when you may just stumble across the kind of connection you've been looking for.
It's good to take a break sometimes, and then jump back in when you feel ready - it can be tough putting yourself out there but I am keeping my fingers crossed for you finding more connections in whichever community you feel most comfortable in, and we in the forums will always be here for you as well.
26-03-2020 09:51 PM
Hey @JosRapp , I kind of get it. I have been off work since the beginning of January and for the first couple of days people checked in to see how I was and then fell away. I have always been the black sheep of my family and have little contact with family and the ones I do talk to stop calling when they found out I was off work with PTSD and no income. My "friends" are the same. I didn't think it bothered me much but heading into isolation knowing that no one really cares is cause a lot of pain and anxiety. I started my journey alone in January and fear that I won't find happiness again.
At least we have the forums. Please know I am here and listening 💖
26-03-2020 10:50 PM - edited 26-03-2020 10:55 PM
Its hard feeling left out. I was already isolated before feeling scared to go out. Now I'm SI - waiting for symptoms after being in a Sydney last week., the news doesn't helph,- pronoting fear.
26-03-2020 10:53 PM
I actively try and avoid the news but it's hard when no one seems to be able to talk about anything else.
Really hope nothing comes of it for you. Hard enough being alone, let alone sick as well.
26-03-2020 11:01 PM - edited 26-03-2020 11:37 PM
Thanks @ Dizzyizzy, I've not told anyone and nobody's noticed. Really hit me when they closed the boarder between my son & I, enforced by police. Neither of us can get to the other. Yep, he's the only one in the world who's bothered to visit on my birthday - not gonna happen this year (this W'end). I have that dreded feeling ill never see him again
26-03-2020 11:20 PM
It would be so hard to be separated from your son it that way @EOR My son is literally 2 minutes away living with his father and since his father and stepmother hate me I don't see him much at all. Even though he is 20 he has to live there so he doesn't rock the boat. When it's was Mother's Day/my birthday when he was younger they use to make grand plans to do something he always wanted to do to have him call me a tell me he wasn't coming.
Keep faith that you will be ok and see him as soon as this thing passes. 💖
27-03-2020 09:51 AM
Hey there @JosRapp I just want to reiterate you are amongst friends here We want to know you, and listen and talk to you. We are here for you as a community. What's been going on for you at the moment? How are you travelling today?
27-03-2020 10:36 AM
Good morning @EOR
Just wanted to pop in and say hi and to see how you where doing today. 💖
27-03-2020 10:48 AM - edited 27-03-2020 11:56 AM
Hi @Dizzyizzy , thanks for asking. I'm decorated today. Silly overreaction to being left out again, irl, among other things, and being sooooooo alone. Just rang Beyond Blue wondering if there's more community support re COVID-19 isolation. I just want someone to ring me every couple days as I feel my mental health declining. She was lovely. We got cut off, but not before getting a couple of support referrals to organise. Good thing is I've lost wt this week. And my pup is snuggly. Lot of SI now my sun & I separated by boarder closures (lucky I locked away means). My son is all I have. So be it. Hope you're ok. Sorry, I got nothing to give today.
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