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Something’s not right

Re: I think I’m lost and/or confused

TW: Suicidal ideation and strong Suicide Urges


I too was diagnosed with BPD hence the bad coping mechanism when things gets tough…

 

I will try and give anything that could possibly help but it’ll be hard to actually do…

 

I feel that once again, I’m in trouble… I feel like this is a losing battle for me… I wish I can say otherwise but that’s how it feel to me right now…

 

I just want to get off this bad and horrendous loop that I constantly ride them gets me stuck in that cycle… 

 

im actually tired of constantly feeling like this, having to fight my own head just to survive the day… im losing motivation to ever reaching out and getting some support… why does it have to be this hard to survive… 



p.s apologies for being so negative…

Re: I think I’m lost and/or confused

Hi @PocketRocket88 , I can see that you're working really hard to stay safe right now. We will be sending you an email to check in on you shortly, so please keep an eye out for that. 

 

Also just a reminder that if you're feeling like you're not able to stay safe, it's really important to reach out to crisis services who can give you the help you deserve: 

 

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat 

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling 

Samaritans: 135 247 

If in immediate danger: 000 

Re: I think I’m lost and/or confused

Hi @PocketRocket88 

 

Can I just make a couple of suggestions which really helped me when I had thoughts of ending my life when I couldn't stop my thoughts from racing? 

 

1. If it's the middle of the night and you can't sleep after 30 minutes of being in bed. Get out of bed and watch tv and make a hot drink. It helps me to make a list of what I'm worried about or thinking about?

 

2. Write a list of what you can do to fill in the time. e.g.. 1am-2am watch tv, 2am-2.30 go back to bed and listen to relaxing music or mindfulness track on Spotify. I would recommend Erica Raynor-horn.

 

3.Set your alarm for 10 minutes and do a muscle relaxation exercise  where you start with your toes and tense the muscles and hold for 10 then point your toes and hold for 10 and progressively through your body tensing and relaxing all your muscles.

 

4. When it's business hours call your psychiatrist or GP to make an appointment to have your medication reviewed (if you are on any) as that can make a HUGE difference to ability to sleep.

 

I hope you feel better soon.

 

Kind regards,

 

Marulu

Re: I think I’m lost and/or confused

Hi @PocketRocket88,

I just want to reach out and say the strength and bravery you have shown is testament to who you are. I'm so sorry you are going through such a difficult time in your life, it sounds like a really hard place to be. You must be exhausted and worn out from battling so much. Keep reaching out for help, even though I know it can be frustrating and tiring at times.  

There are many people concerned about you and care for you. It's lovely to read the wise advice and supportive comments you are receiving from your friends in the forums.

Wishing you all the best,

FloatingFeather  

Re: I think I’m lost and/or confused

thank you everyone for all the advice and suggestions., 

 

I truly appreciate it., My motivation tank is now officially empty., Where to go from here? Only God knows.. 

 

whatever happens, Happens…. No regrets.,. my family and friends will be okay eventually...

Re: I think I’m lost and/or confused

Hey @PocketRocket88, 😊, sorry to hear things are the pits for you at the moment. It's tough, really tough, I know. I don't have any words of wisdom for you. The others who have responded have covered everything in our go-to bag, especially letting you know that you have reached us and we're thinking of you. Stay safe, my friend. We are all with you. 

Re: I think I’m lost and/or confused

@PocketRocket88 I definitely relate to this feeling of feeling lost, confused, and not knowing what I'm supposed to be doing at this moment. It's a horrible feeling. The best thing to do in that moment sometimes for me is to have a shower and go to bed. Because I think at that point my mind is so exhausted it can't cope any more. 

 

I have prescribed medication that I take at night which helps me relax and get to sleep. It's not a PRN that I can abuse, so it's safe for me. Recreational drugs are to blame for the majority of my mental illness. So I would urge you to try to stay away from them. It may seem like using them can do no harm, and that you can't imagine getting any worse, so why not? Trust me, it can get a lot worse. Even the drugs they say are 'natural'. If I could go back I would never touch them. So please, please be careful, get sober. 

Your chances of recovery dramatically increase with sobriety. 

 

What are some things you can do over the next 4 days that don't involve high risk activities? Can you plan your days out? Do you have a park nearby you could take a walk in? 

 

I'm sorry if anything I've said sounds too harsh. I just don't want other people to make the mistakes I've made. 

 

Sending you love and encouragement,

 

Christheart

 

 

Re: I think I’m lost and/or confused

Hi everyone.,

 

I just want to say thanks to @GrevilleaBlooms for taking that extra step for me…

 

 

I have done the unthinkable this arvo. But because of @GrevilleaBlooms calling the emergency services for me they were able to intervene early enough to save me from myself… I was taken to hospital and was discharged not too long ago… my jar empty jar of hope now have a slither of hope. I still think and feel unsafe within myself but it seemed that the hospital doesn’t seem to think so… it is what it is now I just have to figure out where to go from here… atleast now I know that even though this forum is not a crisis service that I can write what’s going on with me at that moment and that I know that someone will do their best to help me… I just hope that my jar of hope just keeps filling up and not lose that slither again… the thoughts were gone whilst I was in hospital and now they’re back again… that includes the urges… I just hope I survive the night…

 

I am truly grateful to those who replied and supported me today… you guys have chipped in and saved me for the time being… I’m just hoping for the best and what happens happens… if it’s meant to be the it’s meant to be…

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