Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[ALJ]

Hi. Looking after husband who had a stroke 15 years ago.

hes. Mobile, can do lots of things but needs monitoring & support.

reminders - constantly!!!

im tired !!!

love him to death but happy I found this group to " distress !"

probably that's all I need to say.

it could be much worse. I have lots of friends & support but when you close that front door - well, it's tiring. 

[Former-Member]

Hi @ALJ and welcome to the SANE Forums.  Good on you for joining, as I feel sure you will find the understanding and support you receive here to be uplifting and helpful.  I know I have done.  

I also care for my husband who has a number of mental and physical problems (PTSD, Kidney Disease, Alcoholism).  The most recent diagnosis has resulted in him battling metastatic melanoma, for which he has just commenced immunotherapy treatment.  

Caring for a loved one is a strain on even the most robust of souls.  So I am not surprised that you find life very tiring, and certainly trying at times.  Its very helpful when you have friends and support around you, as you do. But ultimately, the responsibility rests with you as the carer, to provide the constant monitoring and care needed by your husband.

Do you have any interests or hobbies that you like to try to do when the opportunity arises?  And are you able to get out, with or without hubby, to have a cuppa or lunch with friends or aquaintances occasionally?  Do you have pets at all?  They can be such wonderful de-stressers for both yourself and your husband.  I cant stress enough how important it is to maintain your own  health and wellbeing.

I will just tag a few others who have been around longer than myself, and I think you will have others come and welcome you further, and perhaps direct you to other threads which you may find helpful.

I hope you come back and talk again, I'd love to have a further conversation with you, if you're willing.

@Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Determined.  Sorry my brain isnt working too well this afternoon, but thats a start anyway.  I'm sure others will come on board soon.

Meanwhile, I am happy to talk anytime that I happen to be around. 

Sherry  

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[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @ALJ and welcome to the forums.  I am glad you found us.  Being here has helped me to manage with a heavy behind-closed-doors family issue, despite having in-real-life support from family and friends.  There is alone, and then there is a sense of being alone when other people are with you ..... 

Have you had a chance to have a look around here yet ?  There are special interest threads - gardening, cats, art, cooking ..... these will be under Social Spaces topic heading on the Home pages, or you can type them into the Search bar.

As @Former-Member said, self-care is so important for carers.

Pleased to meet you ..... 😊

[Former-Member]

Hi @ALJ, a warm welcome to the foum  I'm sorry to hear about your husband's stroke- it sounds like it has been a difficult journey for you both. Caring for a loved one can certainly be very tiring even when there is lots of love there. 

I hope you find the forums helpful and supportive. SANE also has a Help Centre which operates between 10am - 10pm Monday to Friday. You are more than welcome to call us there or log onto online chat for extra support if and when you need to. Here are the details:

https://www.sane.org/get-help

Wishing you all the best and looking forward to seeing you on the forums! 

[Shaz51]

Hi @ALJ and welcome to the forums.

I'm sorry to hear about your husband's stroke

My mum had a stroke too years ago , I am doing everything for her , but trying to find the right balance is hard

we are with you @ALJ, remember you are not alone my friend , self care is very inportant as well , what things do you enjoy , I find the little things that makes a difference to me as my Husband has had MI all his life

[Shaz51]

Hello @ALJ 

how are you today , being thinking about you

[Former-Member]

Good evening @ALJ.  I am just checking in with you as you havent returned since your initial post 3 days ago.  Not sure if you are interested or not, but there is a get together every Friday in the social area where a lot of members come together for a bit of fun and company.  If you are interested, I can tag you in there once it gets underway.  It's called "Friday Feast" and usually gets started around 7pm NSW time.  Some of the other members who have replied here usually turn up there as well, such as @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope.  And also some of the moderators will turn up through the evening.  Its a great way of meeting some of our fellow members.  

How has your week been?  My hubby has not been well.  The anti-cancer treatment is knocking him around quite badly at present.  So its been a hard week for me.  A bit of light hearted fun at the Friday Feast is probably just what I need.

Sherry 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @ALJ .... 👋

Just checking in to ask how you’re getting on ....

[Sanatorium23]

Hi and welcome. It’s a good place to talk and share how you’re feeling. It must be very tiring and hard and it’s ok to feel that way. Doesn’t take away from how much you love him. Keep posting. It really helps.