I dont know how much longer i can go on like this

[Sans911]

@Former-Member that's nice of you to talk to him. Recovery program sounds interesting

@outlander of course hun. You don't even have to ask.

[Owlunar]

I can be here for a while @outlander

I can really sense your  despair - and I know you can't form your words or ideas very well atm and that's okay

We can only live one day at a time which is really trite - I know - but this one is nearly over and I can stay here for an hour or so - and even then I watch over you with my phone

Dec

[Former-Member]

@outlandersis I am logging off now and going to sleep. Have taken a double dose of sleeping meds (its ok am allowed too). I need more than 3 hours sleep! I will still be by your side hun even if I am not on here. Use the support here and your safety plan if needed tonight. I hope you get some sleep.

@Sans911good night hun, hope you night is a bit more settled tonight than it was last night.

@Former-Membergood night , hope you get some sleep tonight too.

The screen is going blurry so really need to close my eyes and hope for a night without nightmares.

Good night all 

[outlander]

Goodnight @Former-Member ❤❤

[outlander]

@Former-Member ok you win ❤ and we see the positives in you . Maybe a recovery program will do some good...

I know sis @Former-Member ❤❤


@Owlunar @Sans911 @Former-Member

Im scared of this. Its destroying me. Im to tired to fight this but im here cowering under the covers hoping itll block out the dreams. It doesnt becaue 3rhey are all locked in my mind.

[Sans911]

@Former-Member Goodnight hun. I hope you get some good sleep. I've taken meds too, so hoping for the same

[outlander]

I tried closing my wyes
I wish your were here with me
I feel alone

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Member

I do read what you say about the trouble you have caring for your mother and I do understand - I think I have already mentioned this but I thought I would say it while I had the chance anyway

Some mothers - and you seem to have one - really make it hard for their children - and I do have some insight because my mother was really into driving me away and I didn't see her for well over 2 years until just before she died and I was really sad about this but I would not tolerate being snarled at

I could stay away because my mother was well cared for and I knew this - and I kept writing but never had a response in alll that time - so it was pretty pointless of a sibling to tell me that I hadn't it in my heart to visit our mother though this person was reading all the notes and cards I had written 

Some people just make it worse for everyone else - no accounting for other people at times

But for you - you are stuck caring for you mother and have an idea of how bad some places are because you have worked in them - man - that is really something

I so care though we haven't said much to each other

Dec

[outlander]

Can't edit
@Owlunar @Sans911 above msg

[Owlunar]

I hear you @outlander

It's really hard - I don't know how you keep going either - 

I think of you so much - it's amazing how much really - and I don't mind. It seems to me all I can do is to watch over you - and to care a lot and to let you know it - 

And we let time pass - 

Dec