Lived Experience Forum

[Eden1919]

@greenpea @Paperdaisy  thanks. 

well speaking of my terrible sleeping situation I only got 45 mins of sleep last night and I am exhausted I don’t know what to do anymore this just keeps getting worse and worse. 

[tyme]

Hey @Eden1919 ,

Sorry to hear. How was sleep for you in hospital?

tyme

[Eden1919]

@tyme  I think this bad sleeping started in hospital and has just been getting worse and worse. 

I saw my psychiatrist and they said they couldn’t do anything to help my sleep and had no idea why and all they could say was that I need to lose weight like that has anything to do with me getting to sleep and then they also told me to consider giving up on uni and my dream/goal of learning languages and to move back home with my parents so they can take care of me because I apparently can’t seem to do anything and I just I don’t even know how to feel I am so exhausted and my sleep is getting worse and my eating disorder is really bad atm and I just feel horrible tonight I even cancelled my support worker because I didn’t want to see anyone and I have my psychologist today and she just made things worse and I hung up feeling even more misunderstood and hopeless and idk what to even do I just keep crying and I can’t stop and ugh I just feel like a huge part of me has given up and doesn’t want to be here anymore like what is the point. Idk I just feel horrible. And I tried reaching out to my family too but they just made unhelpful comments and didn’t understand and yeah idk I also tried to call a helpline but they were too busy and yeah everything just keeps going wrong. 

[Acacia]

Sorry to hear about your day @Eden1919. Everything is so much harder when you're not getting good sleep. 

I think it's great that you have a goal of learning languages. It can be so hard to work out what it is that you are interested in and want to do in your life so it's awesome that you can tick that off! From what you've said in your post, I wonder if your psychiatrist is worried about you being away from your usual supports when you're having a difficult time? I wonder if there's a way of staying connected and supported while still following your dream. 

Good on you for reaching out to a helpline today and sorry to hear you couldn't get through. Do you think you could have another try?

I'm not sure which line you tried, but here are a few numbers for you:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat 

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling 

Samaritans: 135 247 

The Butterfly Foundation (helpline for eating disorders, available 8am to midnight AEST): 1800 43 4673 and online chat

And please keep posting here - there's always someone to listen 🙂

I'm heading off to bed now but there are members online and another moderator will also be here.

Thinking of you tonight @Eden1919 and sending you restful thoughts 💜

[Eden1919]

@Acacia  I didn’t bother with another helpline I didn’t have it in me to try and explain what is going on again to some stranger who doesn’t know me. I ended up watching a cute kids movie which helped a little but I still feel really bad so idk what to do now I guess I will try and see if I can sleep tonight if not it might be a long night.