Something’s not right
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17-09-2018 04:58 PM
17-09-2018 04:58 PM
Freak idiot me
No matter how hard I try I am still a stupid pathetic loser idiot dickhead who continues to fuck up everything in his life I get kicked out and excluded from everything even though I’m trying my GOD DAMN BEST, I’m still a screw up no matter how hard I try. And anything good I do have in my life that I miraculously don’t happen to fuck up (rare) nobody bloody cares because I pushed them all away
im so stupid
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17-09-2018 06:09 PM
17-09-2018 06:09 PM
Re: Freak idiot me
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17-09-2018 06:09 PM
17-09-2018 06:09 PM
Re: Freak idiot me
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17-09-2018 06:10 PM
17-09-2018 06:10 PM
Re: Freak idiot me
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17-09-2018 06:13 PM
17-09-2018 06:13 PM
Re: Freak idiot me
Hey @Former-Member, wha's happening? I think you've made a smart choice by reaching out on the forums for support. You're obviously very distressed, has something happened to you?
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17-09-2018 06:39 PM
17-09-2018 06:39 PM
Re: Freak idiot me
Hi @Former-Member.Welcome to the forums. It can be discouraging to try so hard and feel that one isn't making progress. I am guessing that many of us can relate to these feelings. I hope that you can be kind to yourself this evening and that company on the forums will help you to ease those feelings of isolation. Take care.
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17-09-2018 07:59 PM
17-09-2018 07:59 PM
Re: Freak idiot me
I’m sick of being excluded and kick out of things and they say it’s my anger and my behaviour, but I’m trying my best this has happened my whole life why don’t people understand I’m trying so hard im not a bad person I swear I’m not I just stuff up sometimes why do I get made to feel that all I am is a bad kid
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17-09-2018 08:09 PM
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17-09-2018 08:20 PM
17-09-2018 08:20 PM
Re: Freak idiot me
Hi @Former-Member
It sounds like things have really tough for you for some time, and it's all getting a bit overwhelming. Do you have any professional support like a GP, psychiatrist or therapist? I'm sure you are trying really hard to be and do your best but sometimes the way we are raised and the experiences we have can make us behave in ways that others struggle to understand. Like, for example, perhaps the times when you are angry is really saying to others I'm scared, really scared but I don't want to be seen as weak. Professionals can help us to change our way of thinking and behaving so that you are more satisfied in your life and others can begin to understand what's happening for you and properly support you.
I'm sure you are a really nice person who's been hurt by others words and have taken it literally. I sometimes think like you do at times. Being gentle and nice to ourselves is hard. Weoour own worst enemies at times.
You deserve support and understanding. I hope things get better for you soon.
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17-09-2018 08:25 PM
17-09-2018 08:25 PM
Re: Freak idiot me
I don't think you are a bad kid @Former-Member or a bad person. Recently I studied how to challenge behaviours. It is really important to separate the behaviour from the person. It sounds like people around you aren't doing this in your situation and you are finding yourself excluded. Please know you're always welcome here. We do have community guidelines to keep everyone safe, but the people on this forum are some of the least judgemental people around. It must be very distressing to find yourself excluded constantly and being isolated.