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Flowerflesh
Contributor

Feel like using

About every 2 or 3 weeks I have one of these nights where I'm wired and tense. This is normal for me every day, and thankfully most nights I can sleep, but not tonight and once a fortnightish. I'll get up and make a herbal tea, either do some journalling or watch TV. I don't have any substance misuse history, but I do have addictive propensities, so I've generally steered clear in my life. Ultimately, I just want something to relieve the pain. It's like a physical clenching within my chest (I've had heart tests etc and confirmed no cardiac issues) and general sense of doom and despair. As I say, normally at night I'm spared from this and sleep decently and it's only through the day I cope through it. It's extra sucky in the middle of the night. I'm really over it.

 

I'm safe at present with no plans for harming myself. I just wish something would shift. 

9 REPLIES 9

Re: Feel like using

Hi @Flowerflesh 

 

I had that for years, still do. It's up and down. I've recently been diagnosed with cptsd. This is a classic sign of that or ptsd. 

 

Do you have any trauma from your earlier years?

 

Hope you feel better soon.

Re: Feel like using

@Ed1975 Yeah I do, and think it's related too.

Re: Feel like using

@Flowerflesh 

 

Mine is totally related. I'm 50, and I'm only finding out stuff about how my childhood has affected my adulthood now. Can you talk to your GP or psychologist about a possible link? 

Re: Feel like using

I experience this also.

Melatonin has helped me fall asleep in the past, iherb…

When stress and anxiety/depression  is a factor  it can affect our physical body which can cause chest pains ect.

keep trying things to see what works for you to relax your physical body and mind. Doing stretches before bed might help relax your body also the increased blood flow helps. 
lay down afterwards.
heat pack for your neck or back as we tend to tense up when we are stressed. Massage might help.

finding things that physically relax our body as well as our mind is important 🍁

 

Re: Feel like using

Hey @Laylia , I'm glad to hear what you found helpful for you. It's good to hear the different strategies.

 

Melatonin is something I'm going to look into. I've been told i'll need the prescription one though.

Re: Feel like using

Hi @Flowerflesh .. i can relate to this also. I get a wave out of nowhere that hits me like a breakwall and it's so hard to bear. For me, I have to wait until the water subsides with a thousand "this too shall pass" 

 

I hope the time in between these episodes gets longer and longer for you and that the time that they last for gets less and less. 

 

I really hear you x 

Re: Feel like using

Yeah @Ed1975 I'm working through it with them. Gonna start EMDR with them next week

Re: Feel like using

Cheers Laylia

Re: Feel like using

Hey @Laylia , How are you going?