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Something’s not right

Nay69
Senior Contributor

Extremely worried 😧

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@Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @CheerBear @frog @Snowie @greenpea 

 

I was just talking with my beautiful daughter and she told me and showed me she has been self harming. She has been going through a tough few months but moving schools and spending all the holidays with her I thought would have helped. It hasn’t and I am devastated. She said she won’t do it again but the school already knows about it and I didn’t.

what sort of a parent does that make me.... I can’t even protect her from hurting herself.

Someone please help me 

24 REPLIES 24

Re: Extremely worried 😧

Dear @Nay69 

It does make you a parent you cares enough for her to divulge.  My mother never knew about my siblings til they were in hospital.  Its more out there in today's society and sadly more prevalent.

We can try and be there and compensate, but actualy having it out there is a good sign.  Take it one step at a time and try not to beat yourself up about it.  The time you spent with her probably made the difference for her to share.

Heart

Re: Extremely worried 😧

Hi @Nay69 it's nice to see you around. Yes, you have a beautiful daughter that loves and trusts you enough to share something with you that's a scary and difficult place to be. Please don't berate yourself as a bad parent because you're not. Sometimes you won't be able to stop her hurting herself, but what you can do is love her unconditionally regardless, tell her you'll be there if she needs you at anytime, and be gentle with her and yourself (I'm sure these all apply anyway). Self harm carries so much stigma, shame and guilt. These could be the reasons she didn't come to you before the school noticed.

Hugs to you and your daughter xxxx

Re: Extremely worried 😧

I agree with what @Appleblossom  wrote @Nay69.  As devastating as it is, she dealt with how she was feeling by self-harming in the first instance, then recognised it wasn’t a good idea, and that she needs support, so she turned to you.  Yes, the school may have learned if it first, but you have an open and caring relationship with your daughter, so you know it best..... and the school is an organisation ..... you are her mother.  System vs relationship .... it’s not a comparison at all really.

 

Hugs and hugs ..... don’t know what to say that can make you feel better, but sitting here with you in it ❣️

Re: Extremely worried 😧

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Thank you so much x

I don’t deserve it but I just needed someone to help me come to terms with it and give me some strength to deal with it.

my daughter is my world and I will do everything for her to make her happy. 

I am absolutely terrified of losing her. I can’t tell mr because he can’t deal with it. I have to make sure that she is okay.

 I need to get a sleep pattern happening because I am now finding it hard to function at work. I feel like a huge cauldron about to spew over.😔

Re: Extremely worried 😧

Just really scared for her right now. She is my life ❣️

Re: Extremely worried 😧

I hear you @Nay69 .... ❤️

Re: Extremely worried 😧

Thanks so much @Sans911 

I cannot stop crying for not knowing what my baby is going through. I have always prided myself of being her rock, just as my dad was for me.

 I just feel like I have let her down because she couldn’t come to me before she did this to herself.

She has just also told me that her friends are spreading on social media that she is sexually active and that she consumes drugs. I know this is not true but I have asked her to send screenshots so that I can show them to the police and her school. I am beside myself right now because I cannot believe it . Guess it doesn’t help when your mr doesn’t care😔

Re: Extremely worried 😧

I am so worried for her 😔🌹

Re: Extremely worried 😧

So the school will have some ideas and you and your daughter might develop other ideas of how to approach it.

@Nay69 It is so hard because our children are our world. 

Heart

I have to tease out my fear for my son and the reality that he is going through.  Because that stuff happened in my family. My mind leapt to all sorts of things that were actually a long way from where he is/was at.

Find a way to get your own support and sleep stable.

I have needed to use anti psych meds to maintain myself in the last couple of years, but I have managed to do that, though I no longer have big work commitments.

Your daughter and you can get through this.

Heart

At some point maybe share that you are struggling with feelings as you care so much, but also trying to separate things out.

If you did not have the feeling aspect, you woud not care.

I go into my meditation and music when the alarms are ringing.  For now calmness and determination that you will walk with her in it, as much as she wants you.  Dont take all attempts at privacy on her part as a big problem, but promise to be there for the big things, so she know she can spill as needed.

Hugz for tonight. Nay

Heart

 

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