Sisiter with SZ. Lives on own but parents did all (shop, clean, organize, fransport). One parent had health crises, other now carer. Expectation that I replace & do all. Have own life, kids, job etc & getting resentful Started sayiing No.
Parents think they allowing her independance. They have taken on al the responsibilty. Without it, the management of her life will crumble like a pack of cards.
Thanks Ali11. I have tried over the years to talk to the folks. I think that their 'family duty' values are very strong & fheir grandpadents took in their parents when elderly etc.
Thanks also Shaz51. It was getting too much for them but luckily the NDIS came along & I helped fhem transition somewhat to getting some outside the family help. We joke & call it "the staff", "chauffeur" & "chaperone" between us & are SUPER grateful there is some funding for support workers.
I am building the courage tot try another little chat tomorow. I have tried all manner of "what if you get hit by a bus" or "abducted by aliens" etc. Too broad. Have applied for emergency respite from NDIS as folks buy 1. meds, 2. food & 3. incontinence items (oh yes, don't ask unless you really want to know..). How long could she last without those 3? A week? That's when I will have to step in & enable her house of cards or what??? 000? Folks seem to think they will live forever (cufe eh.). One is in great health, but other is wheelchair bound with sight deficits after major stroke + irregular heart.
Sigh.. my little chats continue... some ideas like seeds may take root & grow, others fall on the hard ground to waste away. Cannot change my folks, only point out some observations & be available to listen & help them get more help if/when they decide they have had enough.
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