Lived Experience Forum

[Jigsawpuzzler]

Just received my diagnosis today of schizoid affective disorder.  My life feels such a waste.  It appears those who have been moulding me into this damaged person have gotten away with it and living a unscathed life.

Feeling really depressed and p*ssed off at the world.  Yeah I know life owes me nothing.   

I just want to retreat from the world and hide in bed.  If would if it wasn't for my young child.

Everyone has had their foot on my back at one time or another.  Now no-one owest me anything.  I'm left with a screwy brain while everyone gets on with their enjoyable lives.  I've cancelled my TAFE course and forgotten about learning via higher study next year.  Feeling rather useless to say the least. 

[Eden1919]

@Jigsawpuzzler I have schizoaffective disorder it is not nice..... people keep telling me it is possible to manage though and I hope they are right... I am sorry you are feeling bad maybe try for now just doing things that you enjoy and are meaningful for you idk I am not very good at giving advice but just know you are not alone. 

[Jigsawpuzzler]

Thanks for your reply.  I don't know where I am at the moment...Specialist told me I have bipolar, but the other medical person told me halfway between bipolar and schizoaffect disorder.

Totally agree, it not nice.  I keep hearing things that aren't real at home.  I want to work but in reality think it is probably aiming way out of the sphere of possibility.  Angry at those who hurt me many years ago.  The brain and body remembers and holds it all inside.

Anyway thanks again for responding.

[Appleblossom]

Hello @Jigsawpuzzler

I hope forumland offers some benefit.

I have also had a confusion of diagnoses from BiPolar and schizoaffective disorder to neither. That you have had similar responses form doctors is interesting to me.

I posted a long time ago that all the diagnoses were on spectrums. I still believe that but I dont think the mods like it as an accepted point of view.

 Not sure ... mods?

[Lauz]

Hi all, 

As mods, we are always open to many points of view. However we aren't medical staff and can't provide feedback on diagnosis. Our job is more so, to support members to share their opinion in line with our guidelines. 🙂

Glad that you have joined the forums and reached out @Jigsawpuzzler

[Jigsawpuzzler]

No problem, thank you for advising.  I would never expect someone to give me a diagnosis from a website even if they were a doctor or experienced medical person.  Just good to chat with others who may be having or had similiar stories to get a different viewpoint.  Especially positive ones.

Thanks!

[Queenie]

Hey there @Jigsawpuzzler. I am also Bipolar Schizoaffective. I am still managing to study full time (s community services diploma) and want to go off to Uni next year to begin a 4 year degree in social work. I'm here to say life doesn't end with a diagnosis.

Yes more often than not, I have screwy days where my filter between what is real and what isn't is skewed. Given, I've had about a decade's head start in developing coping mechanisms of sorts, even though sometimes these going flying out the window. 

It's important to not become a hermit as such, shutting yourself away because of your diagnosis. I try to get out frequently and am working with NDIS providers to source better community engagement for myself.

Having a serious mental illness is a tough gig, it's not something I'd wish upon my worst enemy. It is possible to keep on keeping on though.