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Something’s not right

IsAnybodyThere
Senior Contributor

#Deepbreaths. Everything keeps going wrong. I have been coping with thoughts of suicide, but I am safe. I am looking for support from my peers

I admit that for sometime I have been thinking of ending it all. However, this is not imminent.

I am having a bad day. A bad week in fact. That is to say, worse than usual.

Today I was supposed to have a 1 hour phone session with a psychologist from Gateway.

The call never came and eventually I rang them. The receptionist couldn't find an appointment for me listed at all. I now have rescheduled with another lady. Then I found out that my next appointment with my GP had been mucked up as well. So I have had to reschedule that too.

  The main thing getting me down  right now is that I just don't seem to be able to keep a friend. I seemed to link up with someone on here, and I may be doing them a disservice, but they now seem to have disappeared completely. I realize that this could be for any reason and and I really hope they are okay.

  Some people may have seen my Posts on here and may remember that I do not connect with males at all. I am a fish out of water.  People have suggested to me that I should try joining Men's Shed. I just haven't been able to get through that this is a very panic attack making thing for me. It could even push me over the edge. If I'm allowed to say that. Just trying to emphasise how big an issue this is for me.

14 REPLIES 14

Re: #Deepbreath. Everything keeps going wrong. I have been coping with thoughts of suicide, but I am safe. I am looking for support from my peers

Hi @IsAnybodyThere I'm sorry I mentioned men's shed. I was trying to be helpful and I appreciate you giving me the honest feedback that it isn't right for you. Is the call with gateway rescheduled for today? If not, I'm wondering if you would call the SANE helpline? I know you have been given them before but putting the details here again.

I'm sorry today is a bad day, reaching out shows great strength. Sitting with you.

Re: #Deepbreaths. Everything keeps going wrong. I have been coping with thoughts of suicide, but I am safe. I am looking for support from my peers

hello

I can relate to your story.  I too have been holding back those thoughts, and a large part is that I dont have any close friends.

I also have problems relating to other men. I feel like an impostor in male dominated situations. I work from home and my only adult contact is my wife. I am surrounded by my family but still feel very lonely

 

You arent alone out there mate, but I know how isolated you feel.

 

I hope you feel better soon

Re: #Deepbreaths. Everything keeps going wrong. I have been coping with thoughts of suicide, but I am safe. I am looking for support from my peers

Hey @Wes999, welcome to the forums community 💙 I'm glad you've found your way here

It's really hard to feel so isolated- you've done a great thing in reaching out for support today.

 

Along with peer connections you can make here on the Forums, some other support options which might be of interest to you include Listening Ear, the Suicide Call Back Service, as well as SANE's own Support Centre

I'll also send you an email to check in on your wellbeing.

 

Take care,

Girasole 🌻

Re: @Deepbreaths Everything keeps going wrong. I have been coping with thoughts of suicide, but I am safe. I am looking for support from my peers

Thank you so much for your reply Wes999. From the wording of your reply it seems you do understand what I go through and feel. At least some of it. I am not sure that too many feel quite like this though ~ Big admission here! ~  I feel like a lesbian trapped in a man's body.

   I am on a Disability Pension as is my wife, so I am home a lot with her too . She just seems to give me a hard time. She has Asperger's Syndrome and I was warned by a psychologist that she would get worse. Seems like the psychologist was right.

  Like you, I am very lonely.

Thanks again for replying.

Stay strong.

IsAnybodyThere.

Re: @Deepbreaths Everything keeps going wrong. I have been coping with thoughts of suicide, but I am safe. I am looking for support from my peers

Hey @IsAnybodyThere,

from how you've worded your experience with gender and sexuality (whether you're questioning or quite sure), you'd be welcome to join in with our LBGTIQA+ Social Space on the Forums if you like 😊  I know firsthand how isolating that experience can be and couldn't recommend enough finding safe spaces to connect with a community of others who can relate. QLife might be another option to talk to or message 1:1 🌻

Re: @Deepbreaths Everything keeps going wrong. I have been coping with thoughts of suicide, but I am safe. I am looking for support from my peers

Hi @Former-Member,

Thank you so much for your suggestion. I certainly will check that out. It is a positive in my day. I seemed to have nowhere to really go.

My daughter is bisexual and I support her 100%  She also knows how I feel personally. She is 20 so I can discuss such things with her.

Thanks again,

IsAnybodyThere

 

Re: @Deepbreaths Everything keeps going wrong. I have been coping with thoughts of suicide, but I am safe. I am looking for support from my peers

Hey @IsAnybodyThere ,

 

I'm around if you need a chat. 

 

I'm sorry to hear how lonely things can get for you.

 

Sitting with you, 

tyme

Re: @Deepbreaths Everything keeps going wrong. I have been coping with thoughts of suicide, but I am safe. I am looking for support from my peers

@IsAnybodyThere @Wes999 

 

What are you both into?  What makes you guys you?  You mentioned loneliness and I can understand what you are both saying?  Did you both go out and watch Multiverse of Madness?

 

 

Re: #Deepbreaths. Everything keeps going wrong. I have been coping with thoughts of suicide, but I am safe. I am looking for support from my peers

I know you've been having a bunch of services suggested. But.....

 

https://www.1800respect.org.au/

1800 RESPECT are really good at coercive control de-briefing (and de-briefing is key to de-programming)

 

 

https://mensline.org.au/

MENSLINE is for all men. Men with women issues. Men with men issues. All and in between and so on. (In my experience, a bit "structured" in their counseling approach, but the structures usually make sense.)

 

 

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