Lived Experience Forum

[kapadu1408]

Hi All,

I have moved to Australia from India recently. Beautiful country, friendly and a dream come true for me to be here. After covid lockdown, I have developed compulsive staring OCD, I look at people's private parts. I don't try to, it just happens. Now, I am asked to travel and work from customer location ( I feel much better than 2020 but) , I feel I might make things worse. What do you guys suggest, should I go back or face the situation. 

Thanks,

🙂

[Sirius]

Hi @kapadu1408,
 
Wishing you a warm welcome to the forum. My name is Sirius and I'm one of the peer support workers here at SANE. 😊

Firstly I’d like to acknowledge the courage it takes to open up and share your feelings here with the community, as well as acknowledging them within yourself.

As much as I'd like to share my insights, I have a limited understanding of OCD. I have tagged some of the wonderful and wise community members that may be able to provide you with further support surrounding your experience.
@NatureLover, @plasmo, @Appleblossom , @Faith-and-Hope , @BlueBay , @eth , @greenpea, @Shaz51, @heal

If you’re open to the suggestion, it might help to reach out to the SANE help centre where you can chat 1-on-1 with a trained counsellor. This is available from 10 am-10 pm, Monday to Friday. The contact number is: 1800 187 263

Again, kudos for sharing your story here @kapadu1408, and I hope you find a community of like-minded people to walk beside you in your journey.

Sirius✨

[TuxedoCat]

Hi @kapadu1408Welcome to the forums and Australia! Thank you so much for sharing with us, I know it can feel daunting to share. I hope we can help support you ❤️ 

I'm just coming to the thread to say that you've already faced SO much. Moving to a new country is scary. So I know you can face this chapter with the right support.

And while I don't live with OCD, I also relate to the feelings of uncertainty coming out of lockdown. Especially when something in us feels like it's changed a lot. 

Do you have any professional supports you can reach out to?

Sitting with you,

TuxedoCat

[wellwellwellnez]

It's an interesting case you have. I can see how that could add some social boundary issues within the recovery process. I'd say getting back should be the plan and at the same time you should give yourself space to get the steps in sequence.

You're reminding me of the zen fable where the student was instructed to meditate while not think about monkeys. As we can imagine, there were hilarious results. Like all zen fables the moral is add more mindfulness. Given enough space the monkeys find there own way back to wherever they're supposed to go.

[NatureLover]

Hi and welcome, @kapadu1408 ! 

I have OCD in the form of germophobia. I can tell you that if it's not addressed, the intrusive thoughts become worse and more entrenched. 

I've heard that part of OCD can be an obsession with private parts and sexual acts, and that this can completely take over your life. Like any of the obsessive thoughts of OCD on whatever topic, germs included! 

The recommended therapy for OCD is called Exposure Response Prevention therapy, or ERP. It's like if you're afraid of spiders, you expose yourself to them in small doses and gradually work through your fear of them. Then you expose yourself to spiders gradually more and more and see that nothing bad happens to you, and that's the way it works. 

To be honest, I have found that ERP is very, very difficult and confronting...I get terrified that my whole house will be contaminated with germs and no longer be 'safe' for me! 

But I do recommend that your intrusive thoughts get addressed before you become completely obsessed with sexual matters in your head to the point of becoming non-functional in your daily life. Do you have any professional mental health support? Like a trusted GP, counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist? 

If you visit your GP, they can sign you up for a Mental Health Care Plan (MHCP), which entitles you to 10 (20 during Covid) subsidised sessions with a psychologist per year. I would definitely recommend this. However, the catch is that psychologists are so overburdened at the moment that you will be waiting months to get in to see someone, probably 6 months at least. Plus a lot of psychologists aren't taking any new patients at the moment. 

So the sooner you can get on to this, the better, I reckon. 

In the meantime, I want to send you my empathy...I know your intrusive thoughts aren't under your control...and also that they are very powerful. When I feel the need to wash my hands, nothing can distract me, and the panic gets bigger and bigger if I am somehow delayed from washing or sanitising my hands.

I don't actually know how the ERP therapy works in regard to sexual thoughts, as you would be exposed to other people all day long in your daily life...so I'm sorry, I can't help there 😞 But I do want to commend you that each day you get through with only looking at people's private parts, you are keeping a lid on the thoughts, as they could grow and become an obsession with lewd acts. I have heard that people with this condition find it very distressing. 

A handy forum tip is if you type @ and then click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your response to them.