Lived Experience Forum

[oceangirl]

@Faith-and-Hope I needed some reassurance atm- I feel like crying but don't feel safe. I have the radio on in the background.I have mainly seen specialist (Psych) for my depression & my hospital admissions to Sydney. I've had the depression since late 2012 but not offically diagnosed until I went into hospital into Sydney (2014). 

Its getting frustrating for me but more that I can't seem to function as I would like to. I think the WLS has affected me too. I am struggling to eat & drink. I think the surgery is playing a part in me feeling low- I don't know who to talk to about this.

I do go out after midday today- I went and picked up Bullfrogs special diet & medication. I then went to the chemist and did self help health assessment- weight, blood pressure, body composition etc, and after that I went and got a small sushi roll and then sat down by the water, that was nice. But I was still anxious. I then went to see my GP but I found it hard to talk to her. I have speciaist appointment/s next week- surgeon and psych. And I have rebooked to see GP. 

In a little bit I will make a peppermint tea it might settle my stomach and then take a nice long warm shower....

[MDT]

Indeed @oceangirl
Thanks for your support. I hope you get better as the night goes on. I can see you shared some stuff here too which is good. Im off to bed now though. Good night

[oceangirl]

I think its a coping mechanism and I don't feel safe and probably other reasons too @Ali11 I do need help in what I could say to my GP. I did try today but I left with no real plan. But she did request information from my last hospital admission and my specialist. Unfortunately that just made me feel anxious more and I wanted a plan to move forward. Perhaps I could practice here before my next appointment.

[oceangirl]

No prob @MDT  I hope I start to pick up too. I am trying to open up here- because I feel comfortable talking to you guys. Its a small step forward for me, and I hope I can in turn open up to my GP. I hope you sleep well. Goodnight Hams

[Ali11]

That is a great idea @oceangirl, also writing things down that you want to talk about (and then leaving room for answers) helps as well, that way you have a plan going in and you can revert to your notes in case you get anxious in there.  

[Faith-and-Hope]

I’m hearing you @oceangirl ..... and we’ll done on communicating so clearly about how you’re feeling.

I hope it has helped to talk it out a bit.  Practicing what you might need to say with someone else (others here) first when you’re feeling tongue-tied with your gp is smart ..... it helps you find the pathways you want to use, so they are a little more familiar when you are in a more unsettlled place.

The peppermint tea and shower sound good too.

Keep chatting here if you need to.  I will be up for a little while yet.

[oceangirl]

I feel relief talking to you & others here @Faith-and-Hope . You seem to able to find the words, I am struggling to express or say. It maybe just fear holding me back. I am scared to say the wrong thing. But other problem is my memory or anxiety and then I lose my train of thought quite quickly. I have some time to think about what I would like to say to her- my appointment is next Thursday. 

I can start with talking to her about my concerns and how 

I would like support around my MI. I am not sure what the role of the GP is- I guess she coordinates my care. The reason I am hestitate is because she is a new GP.Thats where I am anxious to talk to her because I don't know her too well.  I think with my mood being low it just made it harder for me to talk. But I do think I talked to her more today than I had before. When I spoke to the hospital in Sydney a few weeks back- I was given really nice feedback- they told me I did really good work in hospital and they thought I would do really well with one on one therapy. I would like to think with being open, honest and willing, I am able to move forward in a positive manner. Just to take that leap of faith and to trust the process. Just like if I was little girl standing on the bench and wanting to jump and having faith that the person standing there will catch me. Or it more learning to let go and starting to swim. I know I can swim and maybe thats what I need to do. Its seem easy but I am scared. I hope this makes sense F&H.

[Faith-and-Hope]

It does @oceangirl .

Maybe hold onto that image of the little girl on the beach, and bring it to mind at the gp’s rooms to help calm your nerves.

Can youclose your eyes and imagine her writing things down with a stick in the sand  ?

[oceangirl]

Glad it made sense @Faith-and-Hope 

I find connecting with the little girl inside me, gives me courage, and calmness and direction. I will hold onto that image when I am seeing the GP.  But by the time I see her I would have seen my two specialists. 

[oceangirl]

@Faith-and-Hope @Ali11  @MDT  @Snowie  @Meowmy 

Goodnight all 

I just had a smoothie, I know its late to eat but I thought it might help me sleep.