Let's make Christmas fun

[Maggie]

Great thread @Phoenix_Rising I spend Christmas Day and every other day alone also, I've also been invited to those huge parties where I know no one. Terrifying thought that one.

[Phoenix_Rising]

Good plan @Zoe7! I'm super glad the video worked...cos there are plenty more where that one came from. 

[greenpea]

@Phoenix_Rising video went through perfectly super cute hehehe!

[Maggie]

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Maggie ROFL. 

@greenpea I'm glad you liked the video. Hmmm...it is a big job decorating the tree etc. on my own. Methinks I need some help. Would you like to help me? 

[MDT]

Hi @Phoenix_Rising
I like this idea too.
The past couple of years my family (immediate 4 of us) have been going away for christmas because we were all sick of the extended family lol.
This year we are going to NZ so idk if i will be free to celebrate with yous on the day itself. But i still think its a good idea to do stuff in the lead up.

I think people who spend christmas alone shouldnt feel like they are in the wrong. Sometimes life does this and people need to accept that. I think its probably good in a sense because it means one can reflect without the commercialised rubbish that exists. My dad always jokes that as sson as it is the 1st of december everyone goes mad and starts celebrating christmas because its the 1st of december.. i joke that i start celebrating christmas super early (the 1st of decemeber... but for next year)... so on that note happy christmas for 2018

But actually 2017 lol

[Former-Member]

Hi @Phoenix_Rising,
Good idea to create a positive FUN thread about Christmas. I certainly could do with some help to clear the mental pathways  toward the positive (battling depression & all, lol).

I thought at first "oh, here we go again, i have to perform to participate again" But you are much deeper than that, REAL and sensitive to the issues:
- some have no family, or even friends
- many spend Christmas day alone
- alone can feel excruciating, horrendous & oh-so-hard...

I just have to briefly say to you Phoenix that I am sad that you have had so many Christmases by yourself - nobody deserves to be this isolated 💜.

I remember when my son first told me he wasn't coming home for Christmas, but spending it with his partner's family (x3 yrs ago), oh my goodness, I was so crushed. I simply couldn't imagine Chrissy without my kidz and wanted to die. My family live far away, always broke, disfunctional, loud and negative. They never come to me. It meant I was alone, no choice. My many acquaintances to tjis day never make room at their 'family' Christmas feasts for me (not that i want to suffer the indignity of being 'the charity case' for the day). All I could think to do was STOCK UP ON MOVIES & YUMMY FOOD & DISAPPEAR INTO MY CAVE (which is weird cause I'm already invisible lol). Sometimes for days.

Once, as advised by my acquaintances, I rang around the x3 local Soup Kitchens, to volunteer (somehow give out of my nothingness to buy company), BUT 😱 they did not need anymore volunteers, 😭 ouch! 😖 I felt like such a loser trying.

But I survived my first christmas alone, and twice since. I've had to learn to:
◾ Separate myself from old ideas of how Christmas should be
◾ Be proactive in addressing my own emotional need (this is real hard with cPTSD, much therapy & meditation required (eyes rolling)
◾ Resist the temptation to 'boycott' Christmas as that can make it worse ( learned in therapy). It never occured to me before. I usually just get angry and throw up walls. Counselling taught me to be proactive and form strategies to cope with looming difficult days / instead of avoidance. A lot of grief work helped.
◾ Christmas 'get-togethers' do not have to be on Christmas Day, or even close to. But, beforehand is best for me - the pain of being alone on the day is much less if my Christmas 'get together' occurred BEFOREHAND, to reflect on, I can then tell myself "i've done Christmas" And, if anyone asks, while boasting or stressing about accommodating their own tribal gatherings, I can announce positively - "We've already celebrated Christmas, it was great!.. "

Phoenix, i love that you've risen above the pain:
- got the hang of it (Chrissy alone)
- developed ways of navigating the day.
- ceated family Christmas traditions...just without the family bit.
- learnt to make it a fun quirky time.

I'm glad to be with you to "count down the days' to Christmas and celebrate your "first Christmas in Forum Land" To enhance and enjoy more - the fun parts of Christmas.

Count me in ☺ 👍 I absolutely superly duperly will be joining in. Thanks for the invite Phoenix-Rising🎄🎉❤

[greenpea]

@Phoenix_Rising o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o .... hee hee hee you are a cheeky one there Phoenix_Rising!

[Phoenix_Rising]

@greenpea Phew, there you are! I was beginning to think I was going to have to set up the Christmas decorations all by myself. I decided that as well as you, I would get @NikNik @Former-Member and @CheerBear to help. Yep, we'll have all these decorations up in no time now!

https://www.jibjab.com/view/make/beginning_to_look_like_christmas/c6ddef33-746e-4b70-b94a-fccd21fa6afd

[greenpea]

How did you make that!!!!!! @Phoenix_Rising you are a genius!!!!!! I love greenpea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!