Good Morning!

[SmilingGecko]

@avant-garde he was obviously using body language to intimidate you to try an make you cower. I would proceed cautiously. Is this a group you need to be at or can you go to another group? Men typically don't like women asserting power over them. I would not have shoved a chair into his groin you could have got up and walked away. I would assess your safety in this group whether its held at night or whether you are able to commute home safely. I wouldn't enter into power ploys. I think its going to be ongoing power struggle with this man. Usually if i have a situation i don't like I give myself 3 options. 

1. To stay and put up with it.

2. To try and change the situation

or

3. Leave

[avant-garde]

@SmilingGecko the groin hit wasn't intentional, he was right behind my chair and so when I got up to leave (like I've been taught) it just happened. 

A fellow survivor in the group is going to help me next week to talk to him about personal space and boundaries.

It's in the morning, he wasn't there today.

I don't like to run away if I have a choice, all it does is reinforce the belief that I'm powerless.

I have a voice

I have a choice

I will be heard

[Jynx]

---

@PeppyPatti wrote:

It's understandable that you're feeling anxious about going to your community group after what happened.It sounds like a traumatic experience and it's completely normal to feel scared and unsure about returning.
Here are some things you might consider:
Talk to someone you trust: Share what happened with a friend, family member, therapist, or counselor. Talking about it can help you process your feelings ?
* Consider avoiding the person: If possible, try to stay away from the person who made you uncomfortable. 
* Set boundaries: If you do interact with the person, set clear boundaries. Let them know what behavior is and is not acceptable.
* Take care of yourself
If you decide to go to the community group, here are some tips:
* Go with a friend or family member: Having someone with you can help you feel more comfortable and safe.
Is this something you will do ? 

---

@avant-garde I think this was a response to you!

I too am deeply sorry you had to experience that. No one deserves to be on the receiving end of such behaviour. How are you doing now, has your system calmed a bit?

[avant-garde]

@Jynx @PeppyPatti 

I think you're right, and I think I successfully navigated the situation

It's settling a little... coffee time...

I'm trying to find bone conduction headphones given the current sales

Neither of my friends pairs fit and I don't like that I can't try them on...

[Jynx]

Yumm @avant-garde what's your coffee of choice? Glad to hear you're settling!! 

Oh what I've never heard of BONE CONDUCTION audio before, that sounds dope!! Gonna have to go look it up hey, cos my sensory-sensitive ass hates being in public without noise cancelling headphones, but also my head/ears get sore after a while!! 

[SmilingGecko]

@avant-garde OK so long as it doesn't affect you physiologically like with seizures. There are three types of people out there that was documented by a psychologist and secret service agent who wrote a book on "Becoming Bulletproof" and you have to know when to act or not to act. Walking away and cutting your losses can be a good strategy especially if your health is weakened. You might not walk away victorious but in the scheme of things its only a smaller battle which has the effect of preserving your state of being and mind in the short term. I've seen this secret service agent Evy Pompouraus interviewed on you tube she is a powerful woman. Its a skill knowing when to act and when not to act and having a clear understanding of your strengths and weaknesses while taking into account your environment

[avant-garde]

@Jynx 

I have these ear hooks that I typically wear in shopping centres because I get overwhelmed otherwise but with hearing aids there's an increased chance of infection, so the bone conduction would give me my music when I get ear infections...

Coffee order: lactose free white chocolate mocha using powder not syrup... with a white Lindt chocolate ball to play with until it melts, 2 white marshmallows and 1 pink, also no foam, I don't like foam. 

The only reason I get foam is to make my best friend laugh but putting my nose in it... sometimes a bit too deep...

[avant-garde]

@SmilingGecko 

I actually like this group... and I have a rule of 3 too... if it's bad 3 times in a row I quit... the guy is 85 and I can always pull my alarm... I make sure never to leave without someone else with me...

[Shaz51]

Hello @avant-garde , @SmilingGecko , @PeppyPatti , @Jynx , @oceangirl , @Emelia8 , @Historylover 😊

[avant-garde]

Hi @Shaz51 

And my immediate thought "you're not horrible, I don't mind you"

Then I think that I haven't met any horrible people on here yet...