Lived Experience Forum

[Tip99]

I use my phone too when I am feeling anxious in a social setting. 

[tyme]

Hey @ArraDreaming ,

I'm here if you need a chat 🙂

[ArraDreaming]

Hey @tyme @I am ok, was just feeling awkward. Got invited to a mates place for drinks and music but then I just sat their awkwardly for a lot of time, found a couple nice people in the end but I know I looked like a massive loser 

[tyme]

Hey @ArraDreaming - to be honest, I don't think you would've looked like a loser even if it felt awkward.

I don't know about you, but after 'growing up' , I found I don't enjoy parties much at all. As kids and young-er people, parties was the cool thing....now, it's more an obligation and often feels awkies unless family/kids tag along that you can be distracted with.

What do you think?

[ArraDreaming]

That’s what happened @tyme 

It wasn’t really a party more just a gathering in a backyard. 
normally I’d do to those thibgs with my partner but we don’t have all the same friends and it was last minute sp I just went on my own. There was a few people I ended up hanging out with which was ok in the end 

[tyme]

Fair enough @ArraDreaming - people change, people 'grow up', people mature, and so do their interests. Makes sense you went alone seeing you probably didn't have enough time to organise for a babysitter.

Out of curiosity, if the situation arose again, would you attend?

[ArraDreaming]

I would because it ended up being quite fun, but I did sit alone for a fair bit of time and just felt like everyone was like “oh what a loser on his own” and then when I did speak to people after a few minutes they ended up going to speak to other people and I was just standing there by myself, I tried to join in to different conversations but just felt real awkward. It was a bit weird but I’d go again because they are friends of mine/acquaintances through a sports club I was in. 
skmetimes I can be super introverted and not sure what to do other times I’m the opposite. @tyme 

I think I left thinking it was fun I had a good time but can’t help but think I was definitely the awkward loser who people weren’t sure I was even there, because I am 

[tyme]

I'm happy to hear your recent experience hasn't deterred you from going again @ArraDreaming . That shows resilience.

And as you said, it was awkward at first, but when you began to mingle, it ended up okay. In a way, it feels like the new kid in the class, or a first day at work, eh?

Takes time to warm up, but it's probably good to get out once in a while.

[ArraDreaming]

Yeah spent the last 2 and a half years with limited social opportunities… feels weird to be back out. @tyme also doesn’t help that I don’t drink anymore