Lived Experience Forum

[amber22]

Hey everyone!

On Thursday 4th of May 2023, we will be holding a Peer Group Chat on the topic of Why Be ‘Normal’?

It can be a common experience to feel “I just want to be normal.” But what is normal, exactly? Why is there such a drive to be ‘normal’? Perhaps our diverse experiences are more normal than we might think? Let’s come together to talk about ideas of being ‘normal’ vs ‘different’ and whether ‘normal’ is actually as bad as we might think.

The event start times across Australia are below:

Western Australia: 5pm 
Northern Territory & South Australia: 6:30pm 

Queensland, New South Wales, Australian Capital Territory, Victoria & Tasmania: 7pm

For anyone unfamiliar with Peer Group Chats, each focuses on a specific topic and is guided by Peer Workers with lived experience of mental health issues and recovery, &/or caring for someone with complex mental health. A counsellor is also present as a moderator to help ensure a safe environment for individuals and the group. It is a space for us as peers to share our stories and experiences, and connect with those who are going through something similar. 

Anyone is welcome to join! Tagging some members who may be interested below:

 @CatMom  @Snowie @Shaz51 @Captain24 @Laura4 @creative_writer @Adge @Jacques @tonys  @Bobbie @sammy3 @justanotherguy @Owlunar @tonys @Shaz51 @creative_writer @Laura4 @mamabear88 @Jacques @Sophia1 @NatureLover @Appleblossom @Dimity  @LeChuck @StuF @Smiling_Gecko @sammy3 @BlueBay @wellwellwellnez @meggle

Peer Group Chats are hosted outside of the forums, using a platform called Chatwee. 

To join an Online Peer Group and participate, you will need to register for an account with Chatwee.
To access the group to observe only and not participate, you can access Chatwee as a Guest.
On the night, follow this link to access Chatwee before the group starts.
You can join our Peer Group Chats every Thursday from 7:00-8:30pm (AEST). Check out the FAQs page for more information.  

We hope to see you there 😊 If you can't make it but are interested, you can always catch up reading the transcript afterwards here. We also invite you to continue the conversation below on this thread if you can't make the night but also wish to contribute some of your responses. We will post some dot point prompts on the day that can get the conversation started if you're unable to make the live event!

[TideisTurning]

Hi Everyone, 

Just a reminder that the next Online Peer Group Chat on Why Be ‘Normal’?  will take place tonight from 7-8:30pm AEST.  As always, for ease of reference, times across Australia are in the graphic and listed below: 

Western Australia: 5pm 
Northern Territory & South Australia: 6:30pm 

Queensland, New South Wales, Australian Capital Territory, Victoria & Tasmania: 7pm 

Tonight, you can expect discussion about: 

• What ‘normal’ means for you, different versions of ‘normal’ and where our ideas of ‘normal’ come from 
• Our understandings of ‘different’ as well as our experiences with feeling ‘different’ versus ‘normal’ and the impacts of those experiences
• Impacts of perceptions of ‘normal’ and ‘different’ + ideas for reframing the way we think of ‘normal’ and ‘different’ 

Tagging members who have supported or otherwise interacted with the thread so far as well as those who may be interested to receive a reminder: @Snowie @Appleblossom @Captain24 @creative_writer @Jacques @Oaktree @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @Bobbie @Former-Member @Birdofparadise8 

[Appleblossom]

Apology again tonight @TideisTurning 

Love the attitude in that topic.  Finally I am learning to laugh about it alll... indeed why did I try so hard to fit in with other people's expectations, assumptions etc etc.  At times it has value.  We can learn when it is important to NOT rock the boat, especially in delicate, serious, or emergency situatons, but we all should be able to feel some self-acceptance and comfort in our own individualities.

[TideisTurning]

Hi Everyone, 

Just a reminder that this Peer Group Chat on the topic of Why Be ‘Normal’? will be starting very soon, in around 20 minutes at 7PM AEST! Tagging those who have interacted with the thread and who may be online and/or interested to receive a reminder 😊 @Snowie @CloudBerry @Captain24 @Oaktree @Shaz51 @Dimity @Jacques @Bow @chibam @Bonnie2 @greenpea @creative_writer @Meowmy @Kyle1 @Historylover @StuF @ClockFace @Bill16 

Hope you can make it. To join us, head here, or, for those interested but unable to join live, you are more than welcome to continue the conversation and/or share your thoughts below on this thread and we might come back to share a few extras also 🙂

[TideisTurning]

Hi everyone,

Following the discussion on ‘why be normal?’ this evening, I wanted to share a few things for those of you who might like to continue the discussion here on forums. Among other things, we spoke about the idea of ‘normal’ actually potentially being quite different for everyone, and ‘different’ possibly being a little more normal- everyone is different, after all! On this, a few things I'd be curious to hear all of your thoughts on;

• How would you define ‘different’?
• Does changing your definition of ‘different’ affect or change the way you feel about it?

For my part, ‘different’, more often than not, has a correlation with bad when I think of it in relation to myself, because I've had my differences labelled as ‘not normal’. Something that really sums up the struggle with ‘different’ well for me is this beautiful song, which often makes me a little teary because of how close some of the lyrics hit for me, particularly in this live version, where I can hear that hurt and pain coming through in Sheldon’s voice so clearly. It’s a scary, brave and daring thing to do to be openly you, especially if you've come to have this different= bad correlation like I have. But this is where shifting or changing your definition of different, reframing it, can be useful. Rather than different= bad, if I instead think of my different as the things that make me unique, then different doesn't feel like such a bad thing. If you have had similar struggles to me with different and it feels especially terrifying to be openly you, remember this- different does not necessarily mean less. But that also doesn't mean that your caution does not have good reason- it does. It has arisen for a reason and safety is super important to thinking about with different versus normal. In considering this decision, this video, which discusses standing out versus blending in, might be a helpful resource too. What do y’all think? When might it be better to stand out? When might it be better to blend in? 

@Appleblossom @Shaz51 @Jacques @Snowie @tonys @Captain24 @Oaktree @7cough9 

[Captain24]

That is a beautiful song @TideisTurning. I could feel the pain. 

[tonys]

Hello @TideisTurning   The song walks the walk..    That guy sang a song called  creep  on the voice

a couple of years ago.    Best version I have ever heard if you can find It.   And   y e y. . .  !

Eurovision song fest not far away. . .  I live in a place where anything not considered  'normal'

gets the broad acre herbicide reception.  but guess what,    when they are done stomping on the 

different  people,    they soon get bored,  and start stomping on each other.

Peace everyone.          tonys     mb 1

[TideisTurning]

That's right @tonys, he did too! Here it is. I would agree with best version ever!

Absolutely @Captain24. I feel like Sheldon has a way of expressing emotions through song like no-one else- the way he describes his music; 'painful lyrics, heavenly sounds' captures it very aptly. Another song I really like is Mad World, and I'd love to hear a version of Sheldon's for that reason, because I reckon it'd be just as wonderful and resonant as his version of Creep. 

On this topic too, I feel like Sheldon is a beautiful example of different versus normal. It is only recently he's stopped performing with masks. This came after a stint on the Masked Singer Australia- I'd encourage watching this back through Channel 10 to see for yourself. The magic I'm talking about comes in the last episode. 🌸

[tonys]

Its the words in creep   @TideisTurning .    Those of us born two tailed coins in our hand,   survive 

where the bright city lights least reveal deformity.     We daily live with those words in our  DNA. 

When we sing,   that song..    we rise to it..    That song is      us. . .            tonys